Beginners luck, p.24
Beginner's Luck, page 24
A vivid scenario flashed in Aaron’s mind—sitting across from Jay at a cozy table, a glass of red wine in his hand, soft music in the background. Relaxing after a long week of work, then going home together and waking up in the same bed.
He’d never craved anything so much.
Chapter 30
JAY
Jasmine opened the door, her eyes wide with surprise. The reaction made sense—it was nine at night, and Jay had shown up unannounced. He should have gone home after his dinner with Aaron, but his mind was a blur—thoughts racing, their conversation playing on loop, doubts creeping in. After driving around aimlessly for a while, he knew he needed to talk to someone.
“Are you okay?” Jasmine scanned him with a concerned frown.
“Can we talk?” Jay gave her a pleading look, and she ushered him inside.
“Come on. The kids are in their rooms, so be quiet. If they find out you’re here, it’ll be chaos.”
He followed her through the house, pausing to greet Jasper, who was too distracted by his video game to ask any questions. Jasmine stayed quiet until they got to the half-finished basement. The concrete walls were bare and the floor unfinished, but the warm glow of a single lamp and the quiet hum of the pipes made it feel like a secret hideaway. The couch and armchair looked familiar—they sat in the living room for years before Jasmine and Jasper had decided to upgrade to the giant sectional.
Jay had barely reached the bottom step before Jasmine whirled around.
“Are you in trouble? Do you need money?”
“What?” Jay reared back. “Hold up, that’s your first instinct when I come for a visit? What is it—do I have a drug problem, or do I owe the mob for gambling debts?”
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” With a sigh, she lowered herself onto the worn couch cushions. “Jasper and I have been watching this new show, and I’m seeing cartels everywhere now.”
Despite his indignation, Jay couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I know. Let’s start over. What’s up?”
Jay settled beside her, taking a moment to think of what to say. Despite coming here to talk, he wasn’t sure how to articulate everything he was feeling.
Might as well be honest.
“I think I’m in love.”
Jasmine’s jaw dropped in shock. When she didn’t immediately respond, Jay realized he’d never seen his sister at a loss for words before. Not when he came out to her when they were teenagers. Not when they stood in their backyard wearing goofy glasses during a solar eclipse. Not even when Jasper proposed during a family Christmas dinner.
“Did I break you?”
Instead of responding, Jasmine launched herself at Jay and wrapped her arms around him. “Is it Aaron?”
“Of course it’s Aaron,” Jay murmured. “I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve been spending time together, and he’s perfect. Everything about him is perfect. But our relationship has always been strictly physical. How do I tell him that it’s changed for me? And, more importantly, what do I do if it’s still only sex for him?”
“Wait, back up. You’ve been hooking up with Aaron?” Jasmine’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.
Jay dragged his hands down his face. If he wanted Jasmine’s advice, he had to be honest. “Aaron and I met at a BDSM club. We’ve made an…arrangement. Like friends with benefits.”
Jasmine made a face. “Okay. We’re going to sail past that and never speak of it again. I’m glad you’re living your truth, but I’d rather not think of you like that. So, you and Aaron met at a baking class, and you’ve been baking cakes together.”
Jay glared at his sister until she burst out laughing and motioned for him to keep going.
“Fine. At the beginning of any baking class, the chefs talk to each other about food allergies and sensitivities, so they know which ingredients to avoid.” Jay barely kept from grinning as he continued the ridiculous analogy. “Sometimes it’s not an allergy. Sometimes it’s a flavor that’s too intense, and they’re not ready to taste it. We talked about it, and Aaron didn’t feel comfortable with lemon zest.”
“Jay! I think that’s worse!” Jasmine exclaimed. “What the hell is lemon zest? My imagination is suggesting some horrifying things.”
“Make up your mind,” Jay said, playfully poking her side. “And stop interrupting. Aaron had a specific boundary, and I am not telling you what it was, but it seemed important to him. Then, during dinner today, he told me he was ready and said he trusted me.”
“Aww, you had dinner together?” Jasmine’s expression melted into a smile. “Was this a date, or was he eating off your naked body?”
“You really can’t help yourself, can you?” Jay huffed. “It wasn’t a date. He came over last night because he wasn’t feeling well. He wasn’t even supposed to stay, but we fell asleep watching TV. And since both of us were free today, we went to the zoo and got some tapas afterward.”
“Jay, I hate to break it to you, but what you’re describing is a very wholesome and romantic date.”
Was it? Jay thought back on the events of the day, trying to see them in a new light.
Maybe she was right. They’d woken up in the same bed and spent hours together, always within touching distance. It hadn’t escaped Jay’s attention how closely Aaron walked next to him, their forearms constantly brushing up against each other. If Jay had been braver, he could have reached out and held Aaron’s hand. He’d thought about it. He’d wanted to do it. But something stopped him every time.
Holding hands was easy—but what came next?
Exhaustion washed over him, and he buried his head in his hands. “Shit, Jas, would I even be a good boyfriend? I’m almost thirty, and I’ve never had a meaningful relationship, while Aaron spent sixteen years married to his best friend. What if I can’t take care of him the way he’s used to?”
“Jay.” Jasmine shook him by his shoulder. “I’ve met Aaron. For like thirty minutes, but long enough to see that he doesn’t need to be coddled. If anything, he’ll be the one looking after you. Don’t assume anything. Ask Aaron what he wants.”
“Honestly, I’m afraid of the answer,” Jay admitted. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“What if he does?”
Jasmine’s optimism lit a spark of hope in his heart, slowly expanding and filling up his chest as he drove home. With the windows down and the cool evening breeze whispering through his hair, he felt almost buoyant. On impulse, he turned on the radio, still tuned to the same station Aaron had found earlier, and hummed along to every song.
The emptiness of his house hit him as soon as he crossed the threshold. Aaron had only been there for one night, but his absence left a mark. Casual reminders of his existence stared at Jay from every corner—the green light on the dishwasher from the load Aaron started that morning, the nest of blankets on the couch, the neatly folded T-shirt and sweatpants in the hamper.
Worst of all was the faint citrus scent clinging to his sheets—warm, intimate, and strangely comforting. Jay couldn’t bear the idea of drifting off to sleep without it.
He’d made his decision.
He had to try.
Chapter 31
AARON
Despite the late hour, the fireworks kept going off every few minutes. Aaron didn’t mind. It was a nice reminder that no matter where he lived, whether in Philadelphia or Chicago, people would find a way to set off pretty explosives.
Since moving, he hadn’t been homesick—too busy with work and excited for a new adventure—but tonight, a pang of melancholy accompanied each distant boom. He wouldn’t spend this Fourth of July surrounded by friends. He wouldn’t get to eat Mark’s charred grilled corn or day drink margaritas in their backyard.
This year, he would have forgotten about the holiday completely if it hadn’t been for Zoe’s company-wide email wishing everyone a safe long weekend and reminding them to spend the holiday with their families instead of logging on. She even followed it up with a visit to Aaron’s office to make sure he got the message.
He didn’t have any family in the area and no plans to celebrate, but he still welcomed the rare time off. Even if all he did was clean the apartment and organize his closet, it still beat the twelve-hour days that were starting to seem normal.
With the laundry folded into neat stacks, the dishwasher quietly finishing its cycle, and every surface wiped clean, he breathed a sigh of relief. Unlike Mark, who thrived in constant chaos, Aaron could only handle it in small doses and kept it contained to the bathroom, where his toiletries seemed to multiply whenever he looked away.
But at least the living room and kitchen were presentable again. It took a while to locate every stray napkin and plastic fork, but Aaron had emerged victorious.
He flopped onto the couch, accidentally nudging his work laptop on the coffee table. The screen flickered to life, a cascade of emails appearing with sharp pings accompanying each one. The urge to read through them was hard to shake, but Aaron did his best.
Until David’s name popped up on the screen.
Forgetting all restraint, he lunged forward and clicked the notification. There was no way Aaron was waiting until Tuesday to find out what the elusive CEO had to say.
The message opened, taking up the whole screen. Aaron stared at it, first skimming, then reading each word carefully. With every pass, his smile grew wider.
Aaron,
Apologies again for canceling our check-in. I wanted to finish your report before we touched base, and honestly, I haven’t had the chance to look at it until tonight. I have to say, I’m impressed. It’s a solid plan, and you’ve done a great job rolling out the changes so far. You’re a strong addition to our team.
I hope Chicago is treating you well. Enjoy your long weekend.
David
A weight shifted off Aaron’s chest. He’d proven his worth. They would never be best friends, and he could feel the remnants of David’s skepticism between the lines, but the biggest obstacle was behind him.
He no longer had to claw his way into acceptance.
He belonged.
After fishing his phone out of his pocket, he texted Zoe.
AARON: Did you say something to David about me?
She responded right away, surprising Aaron. He assumed she’d be asleep by now.
ZOE: Why? Is it good? If it’s good, then yes, I talked to him. If it’s bad, I’ve never met him in my life.
Aaron laughed out loud. She’d seemed so prim and proper when they’d first met, this dignified head of HR, but it didn’t take long to ferret out the mischievous spirit inside.
AARON: It’s good. Thank you.
ZOE: Anytime. We’re lucky to have you, and David just needed a little encouragement to see that.
ZOE: Wait, you’re not supposed to be reading work emails!
AARON: I’m done now! You’re the best, enjoy your weekend.
He closed their thread and stared at Jay’s name. Even before messaging Zoe, his first instinct had been to tell Jay, but he didn’t want to seem clingy. They’d seen each other just hours ago.
Besides, excitedly sharing a life update at midnight was something reserved for couples, and they weren’t there yet.
They might never be.
With a sigh, he turned off the laptop and unplugged it, then carried it to the bureau. Hiding it would make it less tempting to check his emails or do a little bit of work. Experience showed that “a little bit of work” always stretched into hours.
He slid the top drawer open and tucked everything away, making sure the charger wouldn’t tangle. The resealable baggie of rice with his old phone peeked out from under a pile of pens and markers, and he grabbed it before shutting the drawer.
Aaron didn’t have much hope, but Rachel had sworn by this method. According to her, she’d rescued multiple wet electronics this way. It’d been worth a shot. And even though he had a new phone, he wouldn’t mind getting his pictures and contacts off the old one. Then, eventually, he needed to figure out how to set up cloud backup.
To his amazement, the screen blinked to life. He rushed into the bedroom to plug it into his computer before it died again. The monitor flickered on, revealing his browser—still open to fifty tabs of random articles and message-board threads. He chuckled before closing the whole thing. One night of playing with Jay had taught him more than weeks of scouring the internet.
Jay was the perfect Dom—forceful and confident, with a hint of ever-present sweetness right below the surface. That sweetness was why Aaron had felt safe trusting him with his most intimate fantasy. Deep inside, down to his bones, he knew Jay would take care of him.
After downloading everything he needed off his old phone, Aaron lay on the bed and scrolled through their texts. He enjoyed reliving their easy back-and-forth, the silly jokes and the goofy selfies. It struck him that these exchanges didn’t read like awkward conversations between two people who barely knew each other. Aaron and Jay had been in sync from the very beginning, slotting together like two puzzle pieces.
Their connection had grown too strong to ignore. Aaron needed to get his head out of his ass and make the first move. Soon. The risk of rejection was nothing compared to the possibility of losing Jay forever because he’d been too afraid to try.
After reaching the top of the conversation, he smiled at the very first message and zoomed in on the photograph from the shibari workshop, impressed by the intricate design of colorful knots weaving around his arms. It was a beautiful sight.
He’d meant to set it as his profile picture on Kink Talk, but it had been forgotten in the chaos of the past few weeks. Still, he felt the urge to show off. To brag about Jay’s skills. To share something with his online friends.
With a few clicks, he uploaded the image and took a moment to admire his new thumbnail.
No matter what happened in the future, he would always have the memory of that night. He would always cherish all the memories of all the perfect times he’d shared with Jay.
It was enough.
Kink Talk
DomPetty: Someone has a new profile pic. Air, you get up to something exciting this weekend?
SubAir: It’s from a while back, I just forgot to post it. Gorgeous, isn’t it?
SubZero: Your Dom has some nice rope skills.
DommyBoy: I’ve tried shibari twice and I just keep getting tangled up in the rope.
SubSequins: It’s not for everyone. I’m glad I don’t have to try. It’s giving me flashbacks to when I attempted knitting.
SubMarine: How does it feel? I don’t think I could do full body, but just arms might be fun.
SubAir: It was incredible, but I’m into restraints. It might make you anxious if you don’t like them.
DomPetty: Submarine, you have to do it with someone willing to go slow and check in often. You’d have to tell them that you feel apprehensive about it.
SubZero: Is this from the same guy you’ve been mooning over? Chica-bow-wow.
SubAir: Shut up, yes.
SubScribble: I haven’t been able to find fun rainbow rope like that anywhere. Ask him where he got it.
Chapter 32
AARON
For once, Aaron had nowhere to be and nothing to do. He could enjoy his rare lazy Sunday to its fullest, which meant sleeping in, then snacking on junk food and binge-watching his favorite shows all day.
That didn’t last long. By early afternoon, he’d gotten bored. The need to do something productive made him itch, so he decided to organize his bookshelves. Singing along to his favorite playlist while carefully assessing each book to decide whether it deserved eye-level shelf space, he almost missed his phone vibrating on the table, Jay’s name flashing on the screen.
“I was under the impression that people your age preferred texting, and yet you keep calling,” Aaron quipped as he picked up the call.
“My grandparents taught me well,” Jay snarked back. “I have a question for you.”
“What is it?”
“Remember our conversation last night?”
“I hope that’s a rhetorical question, because my memory is just fine despite my advanced age.”
Jay huffed. “Right, I’m just trying to provide context. This is a little awkward since we didn’t come to an agreement.”
“You didn’t come to an agreement.” Aaron pointed out, his heart thumping in his chest. “Did you change your mind?”
“Yes. Are you free tonight?”
“Fuck yeah, I am!”
Was this really happening? Was Jay saying what Aaron thought he was saying?
Jay laughed. “Love the enthusiasm. I just wanted to make sure there’s no miscommunication and I have clear consent.”
Unable to sit still, Aaron hopped up and started pacing the room.
“You have my full consent to come over, restrain me, gag me, and fuck me as hard and as rough as you want. And whatever else you have in mind. Anything.”
“Perfect.” Jay’s voice lowered to a growl, each word dripping with danger. “I’ll be over later. Wear something you don’t mind getting destroyed, and prep yourself really well. I don’t want to worry about hurting you. Oh, and leave your door unlocked.”
“I will,” Aaron whispered, his mind reeling. Jay hung up, and Aaron stared at his phone. The call had only lasted a couple of minutes, yet everything was different.
He tidied up the bedroom, then hurried through a shower and prepped himself as promised. Jay didn’t say when he’d be over. Aaron should have asked. Then again, he was enjoying this slightly off-kilter feeling. It reminded him of when he’d gone bungee-jumping—teetering on the edge of something new, terrified and excited all at once.
He’d just put on his ratty tank top and old boxers, snapped on his cuffs, and dimmed the lights when the front door opened. Seconds later, it closed, the metal click of the deadbolt sealing them inside.
