by ABBY, KLEIN!

  illustrated by

  JOHN MCKINLEY

  To J. C.

  Lover of the outdoors

  and the best brother in the world!

  A.K.

  I have a problem.

  A really, really, big problem.

  My dad and I are going camping

  this weekend, but my dad

  doesn’t know anything about

  the wilderness, and I’m afraid

  of the dark. I hope we survive!

  Let me tell you about it.

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Dear Reader

  Chapter 1: Snakes and Skunks

  Chapter 2: The Bet

  Chapter 3: Tent Trouble

  Chapter 4: Buzz, Buzz

  Chapter 5: Here Fishy, Fishy

  Chapter 6: Pass the Marshmallows, Please

  Chapter 7: Shhhhh, What’s That?

  Chapter 8: P.U., You Stink!

  Freddy’s Fun Pages

  FREDDY’S SHARK JOURNAL

  HIDE-AND-SEEK

  FREDDY’S PERFECT S’MORE

  FUN AROUND THE CAMPFIRE

  Freddy’s Other Adventures!

  Copyright

  DEAR READER,

  When I was about twelve years old, my class went on a camping trip. We all thought it would be cool to sleep out under the stars, so we didn’t put up our tents. In the middle of the night, I heard footsteps, and I woke up just in time to see a big brown bear walk right past my sleeping bag! I have never been so scared in my life. My heart was beating a million times a minute. I will never forget that night.

  I hope you have as much fun reading Camping Catastrophe! as I had writing it.

  HAPPY READING!

  CHAPTER 1

  Snakes and Skunks

  “I can’t wait until tomorrow!” I said to my best friend, Robbie, as we sat eating our lunches.

  “Me neither,” he said. “It’s going to be so much fun!”

  “What are you dorks talking about?” barked Max, the biggest bully in the whole first grade. “Are you two starting a new ballet class?”

  “I’m going to a new ballet class tomorrow,” Chloe chirped. “My mom even bought a fancy pink tutu with silver sequins….”

  “No one cares,” Max interrupted. “Besides, I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Freddy and Robbie.”

  “Well, you don’t have to be so rude,” Chloe continued. “I was just saying—”

  Max cut her off and turned back to us. “So, what are you two doing that is going to be so much fun? This ought to be good.”

  “We’re going camping with my dad,” I said, smiling proudly.

  “Where?” said Max, chuckling. “In your backyard?”

  “For your information,” said Robbie, “we are going to spend the night out in the wilderness.”

  “Really?” said my friend Jessie. “That sounds so cool. I always wanted to go camping.”

  “I know. Me, too,” I said.

  “What kinds of things are you going to do?”

  “First, we have to pitch a tent. Then we’ll probably go fishing and swimming in the lake. We’ll build a campfire and make s’mores.”

  “Where are you going to sleep?” asked Chloe.

  “What do you mean?” said Robbie. “In the tent, of course! In sleeping bags.”

  “But that’s so dirty,” Chloe said, wrinkling up her nose. “And there are so many bugs.”

  “That’s the fun of it,” said Jessie.

  “YUCK! I don’t want bugs crawling on me in the middle of the night.”

  “Yeah, they might even crawl up your nose!” Max said, wiggling his fingers like a spider on Chloe’s face.

  “EEEEWWWW!” Chloe screamed, slapping Max’s hand away. “Get your hands off me. You are so gross.”

  “And you’re such a baby,” Max said, laughing.

  “I am not!”

  “You are, too!”

  “Am not,” Chloe whined.

  “Are, too.”

  “I’m going to tell Miss Becky on you,” Chloe cried as she got up from the table and stomped off to find the lunch aide, Becky.

  “Baby!” Max called after her and stuck his tongue out. Then he turned back to us. “Pitching tents? Fishing? Ha! What do the two of you know about that?”

  “Well, I ummmm …”

  “A big, fat nothing. You two babies don’t know anything about camping.”

  “I bet they know more than you,” Jessie interrupted, pointing her finger in Max’s face. “I bet you’ve never slept anywhere but in your own bed with your little teddy weddy bear and your baby blanket.”

  Boy, when it comes to Max, Jessie is so brave. She is never afraid to stand up to him.

  “Well, I uh …” Max stammered.

  “Exactly, just as I thought,” Jessie said. “You’ve never been camping before, so stop acting like such a big shot.”

  Max stared at her. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He didn’t really know what to say.

  How does she do that? “Thanks. That was great!” I whispered to Jessie.

  “It’s nothing.” She smiled. “So how long are you guys going to be gone for?”

  “We’re just going for one night,” said Robbie. “Freddy’s dad has never been camping before, so we thought one night would be a good way to start.”

  “You guys are going to have a blast.”

  “Yeah, my dad said that we are going to catch lots of fish and cook them for dinner. I’m going to catch a really big one.”

  “Me, too,” added Robbie. “I’m going to catch one bigger than your head, Freddy.”

  “Are you going to tell ghost stories around the campfire?” asked Jessie.

  “Of course,” Robbie said. “I know some really scary ones.”

  “Of course we are,” I answered, trying to sound brave, but secretly hoping that Robbie’s stories wouldn’t be too scary. After all, just the sounds of all the night creatures were enough to scare the pants off of me.

  “Just watch out for the two s’s,” said Jessie.

  “The two s’s?”

  “Yeah, the snakes and the skunks.”

  “Ha-ha,” Max laughed. “The skunks. You mean the stink bombs.”

  “What do you mean, the snakes and the skunks?” I asked nervously.

  “Don’t you know the woods are full of them?” said Robbie. “It’s their natural habitat.”

  Robbie is a science genius, and he knows a lot about animals, so I knew he wasn’t making this up just to freak me out.

  “Uh … nobody said anything about snakes and skunks.”

  “Don’t worry, they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.”

  “If you say so.” I was beginning to wonder if this trip was such a good idea.

  “Oh, stop worrying, Freddy. We’re going to have a great time!”

  “Who said I was worried?”

  “It’s going to be a real adventure,” Jessie said, patting me on the back. “I wish I were going.”

  “Yeah, it’ll be great,” I said, smiling weakly. “A real adventure.”

  CHAPTER 2

  The Bet

  The next morning I was up, dressed, and was ready to go at the crack of dawn. I ran into my parents’ room and jumped on top of my dad while he was sleeping.

  “Uuuuffff!” my dad cried. Then with his eyes still closed he mumbled, “Freddy, why are you tackling me in the middle of the night?”

  “It’s time to get up, Dad. Let’s go, go, go!” I said, trying to pull him out of bed. He was as heavy as a bag of rocks.

  “What time is it?” he asked, rubbing his eyes and squinting at the clock.

  “Morning.”

  “Freddy, honey,” my mom said, yawning, “it’s only five o’clock in the morning. Go back to sleep.”

  “I can’t, Mom. Dad and I have to get ready to go camping.”

  “But you’re not leaving for another four hours. Robbie’s mom said she’d drop him off at nine o’clock.”

  “Four hours! I can’t wait that long!”

  “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to,” my dad grumbled. “And if you don’t let me get a little more sleep, then we might not be going at all.”

  “You don’t really mean that. Do you, Dad?”

  “Freddy, your father just needs a little more rest. Since you’re awake, why don’t you go look over the packing list and make sure you haven’t forgotten anything.”

  “Good idea, Mom. I’ll be back soon.”

  “Not too soon,” my dad muttered as he rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.

  I dashed back to my room and picked up the checklist my mom and I had made, so I would be sure not to forget anything. I ran my finger down the list: sleeping bag, check, fishing pole, check, canteen, check, sharkhead flashlight … oh no! My sharkhead flashlight. When I was packing yesterday, I couldn’t find it, and I was going to look for it later, but I forgot. I couldn’t go without my sharkhead flashlight. I had to find it!

  I looked under my bed first. I found a plastic hammerhead shark, a quarter, and a baseball card I thought I had lost, but no sharkhead flashlight.

  I rummaged around in my desk drawer and pulled out a picture of me and Robbie at the pool, my new sharktooth necklace, and my membership card to the aquarium, but no sharkhead flashlight.

  I was starting to get a little panicked. I could not go camping wi thout my sharkhead flashlight. I am afraid of the dark, and I have to sleep with a night-light on. I was secretly planning to leave my sharkhead flashlight on all night inside my sleeping bag.

  I sat down on the edge of my bed and hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. “Think, think, think.

  “Oh I know,” I whispered. “I bet Suzie took it last weekend when she and her friends were having a sleepover, and she never gave it back to me.”

  I jumped up off the bed and walked across the hall to Suzie’s room. Her door was shut, so I turned her doorknob very slowly and tiptoed inside. She was sound asleep and snoring so loudly she sounded like a sick pig. One of these days I was going to have to tape-record her snoring and play it back for her, so she could hear how she sounded. That would be good for a few laughs.

  I scanned the room quickly but didn’t see the flashlight anywhere. Great! I was going to have to search for it. I got down on my hands and knees and started crawling around her room. I looked on her bookshelf. Not there. I looked on the floor of her closet. Not there. I looked behind her dresser. Not there. I was about to look under her bed when I bumped into the bed by accident.

  “AAAAHHHHHH!” Suzie screamed and sat straight up in bed. “Who’s there? Who’s there?”

  I popped up and covered her mouth with my hand. “Shhhhh. It’s only me,” I whispered.

  She yanked my hand off her mouth. “Hey, get your grimy little hand off my mouth! What are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?” she asked angrily.

  “It’s not the middle of the night.”

  “Oh whatever. It’s still dark outside. The point is, what are you doing in my room without my permission?”

  “Looking for something.”

  “Why are you looking for something of yours in my room?”

  “Because I think you took it.”

  “Took what?”

  “My sharkhead flashlight.”

  “Why would I want that stupid thing?”

  “Because you needed it when you and your friends were telling ghost stories at your sleepover last weekend.”

  “No we didn’t. Besides, if I needed a flashlight, I would have asked Mom for one. I wouldn’t be caught dead with your lame shark one.”

  “It’s not lame.”

  “Oh yes it is.”

  “Is not.”

  “Is, too.”

  I could see we weren’t getting anywhere, and I was leaving in less than a few hours, so I had to find it. “Can you just tell me if you’ve seen it?” I sighed. “I really need to find it.”

  “Why do you have to find it so badly?”

  “Because I need it for the camping trip.”

  “I’m sure Robbie will have one the two of you can share.”

  “I need my own.”

  “Why?”

  “Because.”

  “Because why?”

  “Just because.”

  “Oh, I think I know why,” Suzie said, a smile slowly forming on her lips. “You’re afraid of the dark.”

  “I am not!”

  “You are, too! You can’t go to sleep without your night-light on. It all makes sense now. You are planning on using the flashlight like a night-light.”

  “So?”

  “You are such a baby! I bet you don’t even make it through the night out there in the wilderness. I bet you guys come home in the middle of the night.”

  “No we won’t.”

  “Wanna bet?” Suzie asked, holding up her pinkie for a pinkie swear.

  “What’s the bet?”

  “If you come home in the middle of the night, then you have to do my chores for a week, but if you make it through the night, then I have to do yours for a week.”

  “A week?”

  “What’s wrong? Afraid you’re going to lose the bet?”

  “No.”

  “Then do we have a bet or not? I don’t have all day,” she said, waving her pinkie at me.

  “Fine, the bet’s on,” I said, and we locked pinkies. “You’re going to be really sorry you made it, though, because next week is my week to sweep the garage.”

  “Oh, I’m not worried,” Suzie snickered. “I’m going to love watching you rake up all the leaves.”

  “Yeah, right,” I muttered under my breath.

  “You can get out of my room now. I’d like to go back to sleep.”

  “But I still have to look for my sharkhead flashlight.”

  “Well, it’s not in here,” she said, giving me a little shove toward the door.

  “Then do you have any idea where it is?”

  “I’d love to help you, but I need my beauty sleep. Why don’t you look out in the tree house? Maybe you and Robbie took it out there the other day when you were playing detective.”

  “You’re a genius!” I yelled, giving her a great big hug.

  “I know. I know. Now can I please go back to sleep?”

  “You’re the best sister in the whole world!” I called as I ran out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and out the back door.

  CHAPTER 3

  Tent Trouble

  I found my sharkhead flashlight right where Suzie said it might be. Then I waited, and waited, and waited. The morning dragged on. Robbie arrived at exactly nine o’clock. Thank goodness, because I couldn’t wait a minute longer! We packed up the car and said good-bye.

  My mom squeezed me tight. “Good-bye, honey. You and Robbie are going to have a great time.”

  “Bye,” Suzie said, smiling. “Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

  “Oh, we won’t,” said Robbie. “I brought the bug spray.”

  “Yeah. See you tomorrow,” I said to Suzie. “Ta-ta.”

  “Or tonight,” she whispered in my ear.

  I grabbed Robbie by the arm. “Come on. Let’s get in the car. I want to get going. Let’s not waste any more time here. We’ve got a lot of things to do today!”

  We jumped in the car. My dad said his goodbyes, and we were off.

  The ride to the campsite seemed to take forever, but we finally got there at about eleven o’clock. Mom had packed sandwiches, and we had just finished them when we arrived.

  “Wow! Look at this place,” I said as I got out of the car. “It’s even cooler than I imagined.”

  “It’s even better than in the pictures,” Robbie agreed. “Look at the size of that lake. I bet there’s a ton of fish in there.”

  “What should we do first?” I said, jumping up and down. “Do you want to go swimming or fishing?”

  “Wait just a minute there, guys,” my dad interrupted. “We need to do a little work before we play.”

  “Awwww.”

  “First things first. We have to set up the tent while it’s still daylight. A good camper never waits until nighttime to set up the tent. Let me get it out of the car.”

  “Wait till you see the tent,” I said to Robbie. “It’s brand-new. We got it just for this trip.”

  “Really?”

  “Uh-huh. It’s huge. It has enough space for four people to sleep, plus it has two zipper doors, and an extra waterproof cover.”

  “That cover must keep the condensation from collecting on your sleeping bag.”

  “Uh, English please, Einstein.”

  “The cover stops the morning dew from soaking your sleeping bag.”

  “Well, why didn’t you just say that?” I said, slapping him on the back.

  My dad came back with the tent and set the bag on the ground. “Okeydokey, boys, let’s get all of the tent pieces out of the bag before we get started, so we can see what we’ve got.”

  “Boy, there sure are a lot of pieces,” I said.

  “That’s what directions are for,” said my dad. “You always have to read the directions first before you put anything together.”

  “My dad tells me the same thing,” Robbie whispered to me.

  “Freddy, could you please hand me the directions?”

  “Sure thing, Dad.” I looked in the pile of tent pieces, but I didn’t see any directions. “What do the directions look like, Dad?”

  “What do you mean what do they look like? What kind of silly question is that? They look like paper with writing on it.”

  “I don’t see any paper here. Just a bunch of poles and stuff.”

 

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