From the hat down, p.33
From the Hat Down, page 33
“Uh, hello? You’ll be there. And the hands. And your dad.”
Meg sighed. “Gina’s a jet-setter. She’s restless.”
“Okay, hold up. Did she tell you that?”
Meg studied her bottle again. “No,” she admitted.
“So basically you’re making her out to be something that she may not be. I believe you went this route in the past, where you made up your mind, projecting something about Gina and—”
“Ouch. Damn. Low blow,” Meg muttered.
“It’s not intended as one, sweets. So did you ask her if she’d want to be in Wyoming with you?”
Meg shifted uncomfortably and looked away.
“You didn’t, did you? You didn’t actually talk about that. Maybe kinda sorta. But not quite.” Sean raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, okay. I didn’t ask her.”
“Jesus, Meg.” Sean grabbed her arm to soften her next words. “She’s your damn soul mate. And you didn’t ask her where she might want to set up shop? Why not?”
Meg clenched then unclenched her teeth before answering. “What if she says no?”
Sean stared at her. “Oh, honey.”
“What if, Sean? What if she says no?”
“Sweetie, stop it. You’re projecting.”
“But it’s a possibility.”
“Well, yes, it is. But given the kind of weekend you just had with her, and everything you’ve been telling me about this reconnection, I’m just not buying that she’d completely discount that option. Maybe she’ll travel part of the year and have you as her home base. What about that?”
Meg pulled her arm out from under Sean’s hand and ran both hands through her hair in frustration.
“Or maybe you’re afraid she’ll say yes,” Sean said, comprehension dawning in her voice. “And when she does—because she ain’t no fool about losing you again—you’ll wonder if she made the right choice, if you’re really good enough for her and you’ll have to open up. You’ll have to be vulnerable and what if Gina sees that and bails? What if she sees all of Meg? Am I getting warmer?”
Meg gritted her teeth again. “This makes me really uncomfortable,” she said, voice tight.
“Good. That means it’s a demon and you need to deal with it,” Sean said gently. She reached over and rubbed Meg’s arm again. “She loves you. She loves you more than anything. Love like that—Gina knows she’s getting all of you. Good and bad. She even loves your flaws because they’re part of you. Let her in, Meg.” Sean leaned over and brushed a strand of Meg’s hair away from her face. “Let her in.”
“This shit is hard,” Meg grumbled, casting a sidelong glance at Sean.
“Duh. But it’s worth it. You’ll see. Oh, my god. Should we get pizza? And watch a dorky chick flick?”
Meg laughed. “Yes.”
“Done. I’ll order the pizza. Let me find my phone.” She got up, holding her bottle.
“Thanks, Sean.”
Sean turned and regarded her from the doorway into the living room. “Meg, I love you. You’re my non-flaky, grounded, totally cool sister though we’re not related. And you’re also my bestest friend and I expect you to tell it to me straight. Or gay. Whatever. I expect your honesty and I can rely on it and on you. I hope that you feel the same way about me and that you’ll trust me on some things.” She pointed her beer bottle at her. “Trust me on this. Second chances are lifetimes apart. Don’t push her away again. You’ve got nothing to lose, letting her in. Nothing. You’ll still be you when everything’s said and done only this time, Gina will be with you. Watch. You’ll see. Now keep that demon out for a while and take it for drinks. Get to know it.” She arched an eyebrow. “Because really, there’s nothing to be scared of.” She air-kissed Meg and went into the living room.
Meg sighed and looked over at Moonshine. His expression seemed to say, “Hey, I’m just a dog. But you’re an idiot if you don’t listen to Sean.”
“Thanks,” Meg said to him sarcastically.
He continued to regard her and Meg sighed and scratched his head. She stood and went to join Sean in the living room.
Meg got home around eleven and after she let Moonshine out back, she checked the voicemail on her landline.
“Hi, Meg. It’s your mom,” came Irene’s voice.
Meg sighed, listening.
“I thought I’d just call to check in with you. I just wanted to let you know that Phil—you remember him, right? Well, he’ll be headed out to Colorado around the middle of July, Ed says, and I just know he’d love to see you again.”
Meg laughed, a harsh, brittle sound in the room. “Not for the reasons you think,” she muttered.
“So you might want to send him an email and let him know your schedule.”
“Fucking hell. Fuck, no.” She closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.
“Anyway, please contact Phil as soon as you can.” She paused breathily and Meg waited for the punchline. “But you might want to get a more feminine outfit. I think you’d look really good in powder blue.”
Oh, hell no. No, Irene did not just say that.
“Bye, now.” And the message ended.
Meg thought about how ridiculous that was, doing her rounds in powder blue or spending her day at the clinic like that. Pus, blood, cow spit, horseshit, and assorted mammalian body fluids spewed, bled, and excreted all over a powder blue suit. She swallowed quickly because a laugh threatened to choke her. Could be worse, she thought. Irene could live here. Meg put the phone back on its deck and went to check on Moonshine before she got ready for bed. Her cell phone dinged with a text message. She picked it up off the coffee table and read it.
I know it’s late. Just wanted to say I miss you.
She grinned and speed-dialed Gina.
“Hiya!” Gina answered. “Oh, my God. I miss you so much it’s a physical pain.”
Meg laughed. “I miss you, too.”
“I know, it’s late there. You’ve got to get all rested up to work. Just wanted to check in.”
“Any time.”
“So. . .what are you doing the weekend after the Fourth?” Gina asked after a few seconds. “I’d ask about the Fourth, but I’m supposed to go to Arizona to cover a story.”
“Arizona?”
“It’s not a done deal. Basically, I’m going if I don’t have to interview for the States job. They said that’s a distinct possibility either Thursday or Friday. If I do interview for the States job, then I’m not going to Arizona. If I interview, then I’m supposed to go to Sacramento and participate in the family Fourth thing. My grandpa loves that holiday.”
“I remember that he does.”
“Part of the immigrant experience, you know. Go all ra-ra for the history of your new homeland. And it’s a great excuse to fill a house with Morellis and Giordanos.”
Meg laughed.
“Anyway, back to the original question. What are you doing the weekend after the Fourth?”
“Funny you should ask. I was hoping to see you. Do you have a better idea?” Meg teased.
“There is no better idea. I was thinking I’d come there. I could maybe come out on that Thursday. It’s okay if you have to work and all. I don’t mind hanging out in Laramie while you’re at work.”
Meg grinned. “That would be awesome.”
“Cool. Okay. Um. I think I’m hyperventilating with excitement,” Gina said, pretending to be breathless. “I’ll get the ticket and don’t worry, I’ll rent a car in Denver.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. It’s been a while since I was out that way. And since I’ll probably be getting in while you’re working, I’ll drive and do some sight-seeing.”
“I’ll help you pay for the car.”
“No. It’s not a big deal. Plus, I don’t want to borrow yours. You’ve got to work and all.”
Meg relented. “Okay. But you have to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
“Please don’t ever ask me to wear a powder blue suit at any kind of function.”
“Excuse me?” Gina sounded puzzled.
“Promise me.”
“Definitely. That’s not your color. You look good in darker blues or maybe even sky blues, but not that. What—”
“My mother.”
“Say no more,” Gina said with a laugh.
“She’s convinced that Phil—that guy I told you about who she dragged to the DR over my birthday—is coming out here to hook up with me.” Meg plopped onto the couch.
“That might piss his fiancée off,” Gina said. “A little.”
“You think?” Meg snorted. “So that’s the color Irene wants me to wear on my date with Phil.”
Gina started laughing. “I’m sorry,” she said after a bit. “I know your mom is a tough topic for you. But you kind of have to laugh.”
“Yeah. Otherwise I’d cry,” Meg said dryly.
“Or beat your head against a wall and I don’t think it’s worth that.”
Meg sighed heavily. “How the hell did that woman give birth to me? I mean, we don’t even look alike.”
“Maybe she didn’t,” Gina said cryptically. “Maybe you were switched with someone else. No, wait. You look a lot like your dad.”
“And he was there to see the glorious event.” Meg reached for her glass.
“I’ve got it. Your mom was switched with someone else. When nobody was looking—they were all completely enraptured with your arrival—someone hauled your real mom out of the bed and put Miss Friend of Jesus in her place.”
“That would explain a lot. Except she didn’t realize Jesus was her friend until I was twenty-one.” She picked at a loose thread on her shorts. “And actually, Jesus was probably a pretty cool guy. I think Irene might actually be able to annoy him, too.”
“So maybe it’s a recessive gene. It only expresses when children come out as lesbians or gay men. As soon as you said the magic words, ‘Mom, I’m so gay it’s not even funny,’ the gene clicked in and wham. Friend of Jesus.” She paused. “Except Jesus probably would be your friend and not hers. Damn. There goes that theory. Sorry, babe. I don’t know what’s up with your mom.”
Meg opened her mouth to reply when it hit her. Gina had called her “babe.” It sent a thrill cascading down her spine and she knew a huge, goofy smile erupted across her face. “I love you so much that I need at least three other languages to express it,” she finally said.
“We can work on that,” Gina responded and Meg heard the smile in her voice.
“As long as I don’t have to wear powder blue.”
“Your wish is my command.”
They talked a while longer and when Meg finally settled into bed, her heart seemed to flutter in her chest like butterflies. She lay on her back, staring up into the dark. What the hell was she scared of? She loved Gina, Gina loved her. She thought about what Sean had said earlier, about letting Gina in. And even if it meant living apart to accommodate each of their lives, Meg knew she’d do it. She was ready. She thought about the bombing though it made her stomach hurt and the nightmares Gina kept under guard. And if that was something else they’d have to deal with, so be it. She was ready for a long haul. Now she just needed to figure out how that would work, and how to ask Gina.
Chapter 32
It didn’t seem to matter how early Meg got into work because Ginny was always there. Today, she’d already put the coffee on. Meg could smell it when she came in.
“Hey, Ginny,” she called out.
“Good morning,” Ginny said as she stuck her head in from the front. “If you want coffee, bring your cup.”
“Will do.” Meg off-loaded her bag in her office and grabbed her cup. Mark’s door was partially open and she heard him on the phone. She poked her head in and waved and he grinned and waved back.
“Coffee?” Meg mouthed and he shook his head and pointed at his own cup on his desk. She gave him a thumbs-up and went to the coffee pot out front where she poured herself a cup. She added a sugar and a bit of the powdered creamer, thinking about how Gina still took her coffee black, including her espresso after dinner. She smiled.
“Anything planned for the Fourth?” Ginny asked.
“No.”
“You sure?”
Meg looked over at her. She was wearing dark blue scrubs with pink dogs and cats all over them.
“California?” Ginny asked.
She smiled. “No. Gina’s either going to Arizona for a work thing or she has to stay in L.A. for a work thing. Then she has to go to Sacramento for a family thing. But she is coming the week after. And yes, you will get to meet her.”
“Well, that’s exciting.”
Meg went behind the counter and checked her schedule. “It would be cool to see her on the Fourth, though.” She sipped her coffee. “I entertained the idea of flying to Sacramento if she doesn’t go to Arizona.”
“So keep it in mind as a possibility.”
Meg looked at her.
“When will she know whether she has to go to Arizona?”
“I don’t know.”
“Find out. And if she’s not going to Arizona, then go. If Haley can’t take Moonshine, I will.”
Meg laughed. “What is this? Matchmaking central?”
Ginny smiled. “Let’s just say I’d love to see the kind of happiness that she’s bringing to you continue. And when was the last time you did something kind of crazy? Like fly out on a whim to visit someone who makes your heart go from zero to sixty in under three seconds?”
Meg flushed. “Um.”
“You work hard, Meg. No matter what you’re doing, you don’t half-ass it. You haven’t taken a vacation since you started here. So if Gina doesn’t have to go to Arizona, why don’t you do something crazy and go to Sacramento?”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
“You do that.” Ginny handed her a piece of paper. “Here’s today’s schedule so you don’t have to keep coming out here.”
She smiled. “But then I don’t have an excuse to visit with you.”
Ginny laughed.
“Hi, everybody,” Anna said as she came in from the back.
“Morning,” Meg said.
“Your first appointment is in twenty minutes, Doc,” Anna said before she sat down to log in at one of the other computers. “Mrs. Finch and Princess.”
“Which really should be the title of a movie.” Meg took another sip of coffee. “Thanks.” She looked over at Ginny, who just smiled at her.
“Let me know,” she said.
“Okay, okay. In other matters. . .” she raised her eyebrows.
“The paperwork on the restraining order is working its way through the system. Laura is still at my house, and she’s got an appointment with a lawyer about a divorce.”
“That’s good news. Who owns the ranch?”
“She does. She wants to talk to the lawyer to make sure that’s going to remain in play. She may have to settle with Bill, but ultimately she’d like him to go back to Cheyenne.”
“That’s where they met?”
Ginny nodded. “Cheyenne’s too close, as far as I’m concerned.” She took her glasses off and let them hang around her neck on their bedazzled string. “It’s all under control. Focus on other matters.”
Meg started to respond but the phone rang and Ginny turned to answer it, so Meg went to the back to check with Nicole about Mrs. Finch, though she did continue to mull the idea of seeing Gina over the Fourth. But today was Friday. The Fourth was a week from Saturday. What if Gina didn’t know whether she was going to Arizona until Monday or Tuesday? It would be a bitch to get a flight out. But how much fun would that be, to fly out to Sacramento and surprise her? She could even fly out the morning of the Fourth, then fly back Monday. Ginny had said to do something crazy. Maybe she would. And then she’d see her again, a few days after that.
At lunch, she was able to check her text messages. Gina had sent one, and Meg smiled at how her heart seemed to skip a beat.
Got the interview. Fri. morn. Flying to Sac Fri. aft. AZ cancelled, but bad news. Have to cancel visit the next wknd. Call when you can. Love ya.
She stared at the text and wondered if Ginny was psychic. Meg checked her watch. Thirty minutes before her next appointment, barring emergencies. She speed-dialed Gina, who picked up.
“Hey, Cowgirl. Guess you got my text.”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“A fucking assignment that I cannot get out of and that can’t be rescheduled. I’ll tell you about it later. I’m so fucking pissed, you have no idea. I raised hell with the home office, but no deal. And I don’t even really get the whole weekend in Sacramento. I have meetings early Monday morning, so I’ll go back to L.A. Sunday.”
“Hey, it’s okay. What about the weekend after the one we’d planned? I’ll come visit you, wherever you are.”
“That would be the best thing ever, but I’m not sure where I’m going to be. A lot hinges on this interview. It’s for the stateside job, and if they offer it to me, well, then I’ve got some decisions to make. My leave is technically up soon and I’m getting the feeling that they’re not into extending it too much, since I’ve already been kind of working. They might do another week, but I’m not sure I feel like pushing them.” She sighed, and it sounded frustrated. “I don’t think I want to go back to work overseas, but they’re talking about sending me to London for a few months if I stay with the job I have now, at least for a while. And they’re talking about a nice raise if I stay in that position.”
Meg’s stomach clenched. “What about the stateside job?”
“If I get the offer, it means I have to start in two weeks, but at least I’d be based in L.A.” She sighed again. “So the next couple of weeks determine my fate.”
“No, you do.”
She chuckled. “Yeah, well, I don’t know. I’m having all kinds of thoughts. Swear, if I could, I’d just disappear. Reporter on the lam. And I’d write under a pseudonym for the Laramie paper or something. Or hell, the Saratoga paper.” She muttered something that Meg didn’t catch. “I really miss you, Meg. I’m not sure what the hell I’m doing right now, but the one thing I do know is I will not go anywhere until I see you again. So I will figure out a way to see you either in the next two weeks or before I have to be somewhere else. Count on it. Shit, I have to take this other call. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love you.”
