About time, p.14
About Time, page 14
“Yes! Thank goodness, too, because after today, I need a day off.”
“What happened?” June’s brow furrowed, and she reached out to grab Elle’s hand.
Elle’s heart skipped a beat as their fingers came in contact. She swallowed hard and blinked furiously. “Just a rough day. Couldn’t help a drug addict who came in wanting painkillers. Couldn’t stop a heart attack. Couldn’t make a young girl’s period pain go away.”
June’s lips thinned. “It’s always hard when you feel like you can’t immediately fix the problem.”
“These were not just immediate. These were ever. I’m sure of it.”
Humming, June nodded. “I can understand that struggle. I run into it a lot too.”
“I do want to talk about Lydia, you know.” The topic change was stark, and it took June by surprise. Her eyes widened, and her lips parted. Elle grabbed her hand tightly and nodded. “We need to. I’d rather do it now instead of on our coffee date.”
“Yeah,” June answered as she let out a breath. “I guess you’re right.”
“I know I’m right.”
“What to talk about, though?”
“Well, can we begin with the fact that all this is her fault and not yours and not mine?”
“Yes.” June let out a heavy breath. “Yes, she kind of brought this on herself. So did I. I’m pretty sure I knew she was cheating well before I actually caught her.”
Elle hummed. “It’s hard to know without definitive proof.”
“Yes, but I avoided, and I could have pushed harder.”
“I’m going to stop you right there.” Elle put her hand up. “You’re getting hard on yourself again. It’s time to be easy on yourself. You didn’t know. When you did know, you acted in your best interest.”
“I did. But I hated to hurt her.”
“Did you, though? Hurt her, I mean. I think she did more of the hurting. She gained your trust and then broke it, repeatedly.”
Nodding, June closed her eyes. “She broke yours too. How did the two of you meet anyway?”
Elle grunted. “I was at the ER; she was at the front desk. I was getting coffee; she saw me and approached me. She flirted, and I was in utter shock that anyone of her beauty would flirt with me. And then I stammered while she grabbed my phone, put her number in it, and set up a date. She really kind of did it all herself now that I think about it.”
“That sounds like Lydia. That’s pretty much how we met. I went out with some friends to that bar we went to. Anyway, she’s a mutual friend of someone. I forget who. But she flirted with me, and I was so flattered to have her attention that I would have given her anything she wanted.” June licked her lips. “And I did. I knew she was cheating when we started off together. I was the other woman, and I thought—I really thought—that I would be the one to put a stop to it.”
“Oh, sweetie.”
June shook her head. “I should have known better. In all my training, in all my years, I should have known better, but I didn’t. I felt giddy that a girl like that would look at a girl like me and think, ‘Hey, she’s cute.’”
“You are cute, but that’s beside the point. It was Lydia who orchestrated all of this and who ultimately made her own bad choices, ones she seems to continue to make.”
“Yup. Over and over again. I pity the next person to walk into her web.”
Elle laughed lightly and rested in her chair. “You’re right. I pity them. Oh! You’ll never guess what happened when I walked into the ER last night.”
“What?” June leaned on the table, propping her head up with her hand as she waited expectantly for Elle to continue.
“I was accosted by the nurses. You know, gossip, they apparently heard a rumor that you moved in with me. Don’t know where they heard that from. They wanted to know exactly what was going on between the two of us.”
June’s cheeks flashed red. Elle bit her lip as she watched carefully for June’s reaction. In some ways this would tell her everything she wanted to know about their potential relationship in the future. In other ways, it could lead to no answers at all.
“What did you tell them?”
Elle shrugged one shoulder. “I tried to skirt around the topic and let them come up with their own conclusions. I neither confirmed nor denied, and I certainly didn’t tell them anything I didn’t feel you’d want me to share.”
“Thank you.” June’s voice sounded like it was about ready to break. “I’m not sure what I’d say if they asked me that.”
“I’d get to thinking of an answer because I bet you’re next on their list of who to question.” June slid Elle a nervous look. Elle gripped June’s hand. “It can’t be that bad of a thing for them to think we’re dating, is it?”
“But it’s not true.”
“It’s not, you’re right. But it’s rumor and gossip. I never let it affect me too much.”
June didn’t answer this time, and Elle squeezed her fingers, not quite sure what to say. Instead, she got up to refill June’s coffee before she headed off for some much-needed sleep. The only sense she got from June’s reaction was that no matter what, now was not the time to talk about a relationship. She still had a lot of healing to do.
Chapter Fifteen
June tried her best to put everything back where she found it, but it was next to impossible. Elle had a system that made no sense, and even knowing she was very particular about where things went didn’t help June remember it all. She tried her best and tidied up after herself as she went.
Kevin was coming over, so she’d spent the last hour cleaning up the house and making it look as though she didn’t actually live there. She had gone to the store and bought some snacks for them to eat as she waited impatiently for him to arrive with the baby. How she longed to see the baby. Kevin had been texting her pictures on and off since they’d brought her home, but it wasn’t the same as seeing her. This would be one of her very first outings.
At the sound of the doorbell, June jumped up and raced for it. She opened it and ushered in Kevin with the covered car seat. She didn’t even wait. As soon as he set the infant seat on the ground, she was squatting down to take a peek. “Holy smokes, Kev! She’s adorable!”
“Isn’t she?” He smiled down at the two of them as June looked up. “She just had her checkup Thursday. She’s gained two whole pounds since she was born. It’s perfect.”
“She’s so tiny, though!”
“I know.”
He shucked his jacket, and she took it from him before he bent down to get the baby out of the seat. Instantly, he headed for the couch, and June followed. As soon as they were there, he handed the baby over. June cradled her gently in her left elbow. She took one finger and slid it carefully over the baby’s plump cheeks and forehead before going back around and down to her chin.
“So small,” she whispered.
“She is, but boy can she scream.”
“Yeah?” June looked up, glee written all over her face.
Kevin sighed and leaned back in the couch. “The one thing they don’t tell you about parenting a newborn is just how exhausting it is! It may just be eat, sleep, poop and pee, repeat, but gosh, I’ve never been so tired in my life. I miss work.”
“I can’t imagine taking six weeks off from the hospital.”
“Twelve.”
“What?” June’s eyes widened with surprise.
Kevin shrugged. “I extended my leave.”
“You—why?”
“I want more time at home, to get settled. I need it. I need to catch up on sleep.”
“Well, I can watch her while you sleep. Little Abbie and I will get along right perfect, won’t we?”
“We could definitely use a babysitter. Max is napping now as we speak, actually.”
June focused all her attention on the baby. She longed for this some days. Longed for the family, for the busy schedules, the sick kids, the happy kids, the partner to share it with, everything she was never going to have. She sighed in her own misery. Lydia was supposed to be that for her, but things hadn’t worked out the way she’d hoped. Briefly, she thought of Elle and wondered if Giselle Vasquez had ever dreamed of having kids.
It was something they never talked about, a topic they never dared broach. Either of them. Pushing the thought from her mind, she looked down at the cutest little baby she had seen, one who had been longed for for decades. Turning to Kevin, June smiled.
“I’m so glad you finally got your baby.”
“Me too.” He smiled back and looked down at Abbie. “It sure was a long wait.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence. June opened her mouth twice before she got the courage to speak. “You’ve missed a lot since you’ve been gone.”
“Tell me.” His deep voice rumbled in the room.
June swayed lightly as she tried to put Abbie back to sleep. “Lydia and I broke up.”
“What?” His eyes widened as she glanced at him.
“She cheated. Had been cheating I guess, for at least six months, and was actually cheating on that girl with someone else.”
“Who?”
“She went on a date with Doctor Vasquez.”
“Did not see that one.”
“See what?”
“Vasquez being gay.”
“She’s not.”
“Or being Lydia’s type.”
“She’s lightened up a lot.”
“Is that why you’re at her house?”
June lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “I needed a place to stay. Lydia kicked me out. Her name was on the lease. I was at a hotel, and Elle found out, dragged me here.”
“You could have come to me.”
“You have a baby.” June pointed at Abbie and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t going to put me on you two as well. You’ve got enough on your plates right now.”
“I guess. So, what are you going to do now?”
“Stay here until I can save up and move into a new apartment, by myself,” she added just to make it clear. “I’m done dating for a while, I think.”
“Sounds like a decent plan. And you and Doctor Vasquez, you’re not…you know…”
Scrunching her nose, June shook her head. “No. Not in the least. We’re just friends.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Because I detected a waver in your voice, like you weren’t sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Positive?”
“Kevin,” June warned. “We’re just friends. Nothing more.”
“See? There it is again.”
Rolling her eyes, June leaned back into the couch and stared down at the baby in her arms. “We did kiss. Once.”
“What?” he asked, his eyes wide. “You can’t just stop there.”
“It was the night I found out Lydia was cheating. Elle and I were at a restaurant eating, and lo and behold, Lydia was at the bar, sucking face with someone I’d never seen before.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. So, I ran out. Elle followed me, and in my crazy head, somewhere, I thought kissing Elle would get back at Lydia. It was just stupid, really.”
“You’re sure that’s why you kissed her.”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Nothing more. We’re just friends.”
“If you say so,” Kevin said with a tone in his voice like he didn’t quite believe her.
The garage door opening and closing told June they were no longer alone. She shot him a look, telling him to drop the subject, and turned to welcome Elle home.
★
Elle dropped her keys onto the marble countertop like she always did and stopped short when she saw June was not alone. Discarding her jacket on the back of one of the dining room chairs, she rounded the couch to greet her new guest. When she saw it was Chaplain Shirley, she smiled gently at him.
“Good to see you! I haven’t seen you around the hospital in a long time.”
He smiled up at her and nodded toward June. “I’ve been on parental leave.”
Elle’s gaze followed his nod, and the sight took her breath away. June was cradling a baby in her arms, softly shushing her and patting her bottom. June’s eyes were for no one but the baby as she continued to calm her and coo at her. With her heart in her throat, Elle rocked on her heels and bit her lower lip, not sure what to say. When June looked up at her with joy and a smile on her face, she was lost.
There was no going back. In the few short weeks since she’d really started to get to know June, she’d fallen in love. Her heart was gone and in someone else’s hands. Stuttering, Elle sat on the edge of the chair next to the couch and kept her distance as the realization hit her hard.
“What’s her name?” she asked, trying to distract herself from June, so she glanced to Kevin.
“Abagail Reed Shirley.”
“She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you. We waited ten years for her.”
Tears stung at the corners of Elle’s eyes as she watched June with the baby. There was no going back. She was a goner. Kevin was watching her closely and had a smug smile on his face, which she ignored. Generally, she liked him, at least when they worked together. He was quick and efficient and largely left her alone when they were at work. She tore her gaze from his and looked back at June.
She was in love.
Once again, the realization hit her, and she had to excuse herself. She made her way to her bedroom to hide, leaving June and Kevin alone once again. She heard Abbie wail through the wall but ignored it as she laid on her bed and put a closed fist to her forehead.
Love. She loved June. She was in love.
Elle’s heart fluttered, and she closed her eyes. Falling in love again had always been her hope, but she’d been scared to dream it was even a possibility. After Logan, well, she’d been beyond broken and wasn’t sure she’d ever recover. But Chaplain Smart-Mouth had helped her see the way out. It took work, still took work, but she was making it, she was changing, and she was in love. Again. Maybe even for the first time in ways she had never been before.
Sitting up on her bed, Elle pulled her long hair into a loose bun and let out a heavy breath. What this meant for her future she had no idea. Thus far June hadn’t given any implication she felt the same; however, June also had a lot going on in her life, things she needed to sort out before there was any room to think about the future.
She’d hoped the past week had been that for June. A week wasn’t a long time, but it was a start at least, and if June could start to see a future, something other than her depression and pain from Lydia, then perhaps she could dare to dream of a future with the two of them together.
The knock on her door startled her. Elle wiped her damp cheeks and eyes and looked at her bedroom door. “Come in!”
The door squeaked slightly when it opened, and June poked her head inside, her brow furrowed. “Kevin just left. Are you okay? You left kind of suddenly.”
“Uh…yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.” Elle rolled her eyes and pulled her lips into a thin line, hoping it was a good enough excuse and June would buy it.
“Are you sure?” June narrowed her eyes and stepped into the room.
Elle begged her to leave silently. She didn’t want to face her after her revelation, knowing that in this moment her feelings weren’t returned. For now, she at least still had the hope someday June would feel the same way, but until then, she could live in her world of ignorance.
June sat down next to her and rubbed a hand on her back. “Elle?”
“Yeah. Just tired.”
June laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Elle simply watched. Her breathing, the rise and fall of her chest, the soft way she kicked her feet out from the edge of the bed before they flopped back down. Not hard enough to cause the bed to shake but just enough to show she was full of energy.
“Have you ever wanted children?” June asked.
Elle’s heart clenched. Of course she had wanted children at some point in her life, but she was getting to the age where it would be near impossible for her to have her own. And she hadn’t thought of having a family any other way before. Elle swallowed and prepared her answer.
“I used to.”
“Used to?” June tilted her chin down so she could look Elle in the eye.
Elle nodded. “Yeah. After my ex left—well, really when we were still married—I kind of figured it wouldn’t be happening. He was never super interested in having kids, and by the time we divorced, well, I’m a bit old, don’t you think?”
“You’re not old.” June scrunched her nose. “How old are you?”
“Getting up there.” Elle sighed and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “At least old enough that I’d be considered advanced maternal age.”
“Yeah, but that’s like thirty-five. That’s not old.”
“I’m way older than thirty-five.”
June stared at her. Elle swallowed again and took a deep breath.
“I’m forty-five.”
“Oh.”
Elle closed her eyes, not quite ready to see June’s reaction to that small tidbit of information. Her head and her heart were swimming with new feelings, and she was already utterly raw with emotion. When June grabbed her hand, she jerked it back in surprise and held it away from June.
“Forty-five isn’t old.”
“Good luck convincing me of that.”
“It’s not. You’re not even over the hill yet.”
Elle let out a wry laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. “How old are you?”
June hummed. “Thirty-one.”
“Yeah. I’m not old.” Sarcasm dripped off Elle’s tongue.
“You can still have kids, you know. You don’t have to get pregnant.”
Elle shrugged, still not quite sure she wanted to be having this conversation. “Do you?”
“Do I what?”
“Want kids?”
June thought for a moment before answering. “Yeah, someday. I thought maybe with—someday it would be nice. Not today. Today, it was nice to hand Abbie back to her daddy when she got cranky.”
Elle let out a breath in a rush and flopped onto her bed, mimicking June’s position as she stared at the ceiling. “What about marriage?”
