About time, p.5
About Time, page 5
June raised an eyebrow and jerked her head back before pursing her lips. “Uhh…thanks, I guess.”
Elle swallowed hard. Perhaps she was reading too much into everything. Perhaps June wasn’t interested at all. It had been a while since she’d been in the dating market, so it could be possible for her to just not know what to look for anymore.
“I just got here,” Elle fibbed. “Haven’t looked around much. I went straight for the booze.” Smirking, she lifted her cup in a cheers motion and nodded in the direction of the makeshift bar. “There’s more over there if you want some.”
“I’m on call.” June shrugged and gave Elle a pitiful look.
“Right.” Elle sighed inwardly. She was doing everything wrong, getting everything wrong. It couldn’t be going more horribly than it was right then and there. She took a sip to push all the feelings boiling in her stomach down. It was just a crush, and she needed to get rid of it as soon as possible. It was obvious June didn’t reciprocate.
June moved closer to the pencil drawing Elle had been looking at before she came in. “Do you like art at all?”
The debate commenced. Elle wasn’t sure whether to lie or tell the truth. Depending on how much June liked this type of scene, it could set them back in their relationship. Choosing the truth for everything, she gave a wry smile. “Not really. I don’t pay much attention to it.”
June grinned, and Elle’s stomach flipped again. She had chosen wisely.
“I don’t either. But I love supporting local artists, businesses, anything local and small really. I come just to support.”
“Ah.” Elle had to force her gaze from June grinning back to the cow butt. She turned her head to the side and stared, trying to figure out what was so significant or good about the artwork itself. She drew a blank. “So…this is good art?”
June snorted and whispered, “God, I hope not.”
Elle grinned back at her. “I’m sorry. I just do not understand this piece at all.”
“Shhh. Don’t say that too loudly.”
Shaking her head, Elle smiled. “Not supportive?”
“Exactly.”
“Right then.” Elle pursed her lips and knocked her shoulder into June’s lightly. “Supportive…well, I guess I can say I would never be so talented as to draw that. I can barely draw a stick figure.”
June’s low chuckle sent shivers down Elle’s spine. “I’ll give you that one, but barely.”
“Okay, trying again. The lines draw the attention to the…uhh…well, the butt.” Elle covered her mouth with her hand to hide her grin. “The shadowing makes it…uhh…come alive.”
“Better.” June gave a sweet smile.
“Your turn.” Elle finished off her wine and crossed her arms, holding the empty plastic cup loosely in her fingers.
Finally, it felt as though they’d found a rhythm. Elle could flirt and not feel like June was going to run away or shift uneasily in her shoes. More than half the time when they talked, Elle worried June was just waiting and wanting for a giant black hole to show and swallow her up whole. This—albeit not her scene—was a nice change of pace in their budding friendship.
“All right. Let’s…move to this piece.” June smirked and sidestepped to look at the next drawing. This one was of multiple cows in a corral, also drawn in simple pencil. Or was it charcoal? “This one is…homey.”
“If you’re a ranch hand maybe.”
June grinned and rolled her eyes. “Homey. Simple. Life in its simplest form.”
“You’re much better at this than me.”
“Practice.” June’s smile reached her green eyes, her dimple showing face again.
Elle swooned. She really had to get this crush-thing under control, especially if June didn’t reciprocate, which it seemed she didn’t. Bolstering herself against her emotions, Elle focused on the friendship they were creating and not the longing to rid herself of the loneliness that had been her closest companion for years. That’s all it was—her desire to not be alone any longer.
“Want to get coffee?” June asked conspiratorially.
“Absolutely.”
Without another pause, they left the art show and headed two doors down to a tiny hole-in-the-wall coffee shop. Local—just like June enjoyed.
Elle slid into the booth while waiting on June to order. She had insisted after asking a few to-the-point questions about Elle’s likes and dislikes concerning coffee. She’d convinced Elle that the barista was a mind reader and would know exactly what she wanted and needed to drink. Trusting June more than the random man behind the counter, Elle settled in to see what surprise drink might await her.
June climbed into the booth opposite her with a grin on her face. “They’ll bring it over in a few minutes.”
“Excellent. So why did you take me to an art show if you didn’t like art?”
June shrugged. “Thought it may be something you would enjoy.”
Humming, Elle regarded her with a curious look. There was something different about her than normal. June gave a wry smile and turned to look outside. “It’s getting cold outside.”
“Usually does in winter. It’s my favorite time of year, though. I love the snow.”
“Good, because I think we’re expecting more.”
Elle continued to study June, trying to figure out just what was different. Conversations about the weather didn’t really suit either of them, but June seemed to be searching for shallow topics. Going along with it for a bit, Elle brought up the next surface-level conversation she could come up with.
“Did you see the hospital is finally getting their new mammogram?”
June hummed an answer, and Elle could tell she really wasn’t paying attention. As soon as their drinks were set in front of them, Elle didn’t waste another second. She reached over and grabbed June’s wrist, tugging her hand gently over the table and closer to her. She rubbed her thumb along the top of June’s hand; her fingers still wrapped around her wrist, she felt June’s heart rate jump.
“Something is going on. I can feel it.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing when it’s distracting you and obviously weighing heavily on your mind. Talk to me about it.”
Smiling, June shook her head. “Am I really that easy to read?”
“Not normally. Normally, you’re actually very difficult to read, but whatever it is must really be bothering you. I can see the tension in your face.”
Wincing, June removed her hand from Elle’s grip. The loss of the warmth flustered Elle, but she pushed it aside and focused on the beautiful woman sitting in front of her. Elle let silence filter around them as she waited for June to confess all that was going on in that head of hers. She could wait if necessary. After all, they were just getting to know each other, and it’d be a huge step for them to have such an in-depth conversation.
“Really, if you want to talk, I’m here to listen. If not, we can just talk about…football. It is football season, isn’t it?”
Laughing, June shook her head. “I honestly have no idea. I don’t pay much attention to sports. But thank you for your offer. I’m just under a lot of stress right now and not quite sure what to do about it.”
“Oh yeah?” Elle took a sip of her drink before humming in pure pleasure. She pulled it back and stared into the giant coffee mug. “What is this? It’s amazing!”
“I have no idea. I just told him what you liked and didn’t like and said get creative. Every time I come here, I end up with a new drink.”
“It’s excellent. I’m going to have to figure out what it is so I can order it again.”
Grinning, June nodded at the counter. “He’s one of a kind.”
“So, talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
June sighed and rubbed her lips together as if she was debating. Elle once again let them fall into silence, hoping it would encourage June to talk and share what was bothering her. She realized she wasn’t the most private person in the world and other people were, but she wanted to deepen the connection she’d been feeling as of late.
“All right. I will sort of spill.” June grimaced. “I’ve been having a tough time with someone, someone I’ve known a long time. She just keeps wanting more than I can give. Have you ever had a friend like that?”
“Yeah, once or twice. Never lasted long. I don’t have the patience for it.”
“Maybe I should learn something from you then. I’m such a giver. And with her…well, I give and give and give, and it never seems to satisfy her. I don’t know. I’ve tried to put up boundaries, and I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but we never seem to get anywhere.”
“That’s tough.” Elle set her coffee down and gave June a pitying look. “Have you talked to her recently about it?”
“Mm, not in the last few months, maybe longer. I think I will talk to her about it this week, though. We’ve got a time set up to talk, so maybe that’ll be my in for letting my needs be known.”
“No relationship is a relationship if it’s all one-sided.”
“Yeah. You’re right. Everything has to be give or take. I just—I don’t want to lose the relationship, you know? I mean, I’ve known her for years, and we run in a really tight circle of friends. I don’t want it to create any awkwardness when we move on.”
“It sounds like you’ve already made a decision.”
June pursed her lips, then shook her head. “No, I’m not sure. I want to fight for our relationship. It’s important to me. But I don’t know if I’m just dreaming or being too hopeful or what.”
“That’s a lot that’s got to be weighing on you.”
“I guess you could say that.”
Elle closed her eyes briefly, trying to decide if she should or could ask the one question she wanted. Deciding against it, she focused on June instead. “You just have to take it one day at a time, really work through what you need and she needs, and see if they’re compatible. If not, then it might be time to break ties. If you’re both willing to work on your friendship, then do it. No friendship is worth breaking up if it can be salvaged.”
“I agree. I think she is willing to work on it. Just the work seems a bit daunting right now.”
Chuckling lightly, Elle said, “I agree. It always does in the beginning, and usually somewhere in the middle.”
“True.” June raised an eyebrow at Elle. “Anyway, enough about that. How did you end up here? You’re obviously not from here.”
Elle shook her head. “That is a long story.”
“Is it?”
“Not really.” Laughing, she finished her coffee and relaxed. “After I was done with medical school, I wanted to find a hospital where I could actually do what I loved. I prefer small towns, so when two positions opened here, I applied. They offered me a job almost immediately, but it took another six months for them to find a position for my ex-husband and then convince him to move here. He only got the job because of me. I had the better grades, the better residency, the better brain. He always hated that and let me know it.”
“Sounds like a jerk.”
“Sometimes, yes. But it got me here, which is exactly where I wanted to be, even if he didn’t.”
“So, is he still here then?”
“God, no. As soon as he decided to separate, he moved back to the city and got his own apartment. Actually, I think that’s wrong. He did that before he told me he was filing for divorce. Oh, and found himself a new trophy wife who is dumb as bricks but beautiful as Aphrodite. Just what the doctor ordered.”
“That’s sad.”
“Not too sad, really. It was over long before I would admit it to myself, and I was so unhappy. Now I can be who I really want to be and not have that stress looming over me. Our divorce will be final shortly, and then I can finally move on with my life.”
“Well, good on you for having that attitude.”
Elle smiled gingerly. “I wouldn’t if it hadn’t been for you and your smart mouth that one night. I really needed to hear what you said to knock some sense into me.”
“Glad to be of service. Do you want another one?” June pointed at Elle’s empty cup. When Elle eagerly nodded, June paused and reached for her side. She pulled out her vibrating phone and glanced over the screen.
“What is it?” Concern laced Elle’s tone.
“Nasty car accident. The families are just getting to the hospital. I need to go in.”
“That’s right. You’re on call. I forgot.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Elle shook her head and grabbed June’s hand and squeezed again briefly. “Don’t be sorry. It’s your job. This is what you’re made to do. Grab a cup of coffee to go, and I’ll pay for it. You’ll need the caffeine, it seems.”
“Really?” June looked astonished.
“Really really,” Elle responded.
She gave June’s fingers one more squeeze before putting her jacket back on and getting ready to leave. It had been nice while it lasted, but duty called, and there was no getting around it. If anything, Elle understood that to her core. She’d done her own fair share of being on call throughout her residency, and it was a hard business to be in. She’d much rather just be scheduled to work three or four nights because then she at least knew she’d be up all night.
After they grabbed their new coffees and headed to their vehicles, Elle gave June a small wave and a smile. “I’ll catch up with you sooner rather than later, I’m sure.”
“Absolutely. And next time I won’t be on call.”
With a grin, June got in her car and left Elle with her own thoughts and hopes.
Chapter Six
Each day that brought them closer to the dreaded therapy session, the weight in June’s belly got heavier. It got to the point where even the thought of coffee churned her stomach, and she hadn’t had a proper meal in two days. Elle was right. She just needed to take one day at a time.
Blowing out a breath, June got out of her car and headed through the wood door to the therapists’ building. She followed the makeshift paper signs down a long hallway and into a back waiting room, past several doors she knew housed therapists. Once in the waiting room, she saw Lydia sitting on a couch, flipping aimlessly through People magazine.
“Hey,” June uttered, restraining her nerves as best she could.
“Hey. She said she’d be back in a minute to get us.”
“Oh. Okay.” June sat on a chair adjacent to where Lydia was. It may have been her idea to go to therapy, and she really did want to attempt to work out their problems, but something in the back of her mind told her it just wasn’t going to happen.
It was so quiet in the room that June swore she could hear the clock ticking each second like a gong. Except there wasn’t a clock, and it was all in her head. She curled her toes in her shoes over and over, sent observing glances in Lydia’s direction. Lydia seemed overly calm. It sent an eerie shiver through her chest, landing in the pit of her stomach.
“Lydia? June?” The small, thin woman with wire-framed glasses leaned around the corner of the door. “I’m ready for you now.”
Lydia stood, swished her long blonde locks over her shoulder, and sashayed her way out of the room. June dug her hands into her jacket pockets and curled her fingers tightly to her palms until her nails bit into her skin slightly. The pressure and the pain brought the reality of the situation crashing down around her.
Once they were seated in the tiny room with a singular love seat and chair opposite, June dared to take her jacket off and fold it over her legs. She sat on one edge of the couch while Lydia sat very clearly on the other, not touching each other at all. June worried her lip while she waited for their session to begin.
It didn’t take long for them to get into the nitty-gritty. June remained largely quiet for the most part as Lydia shared what their problems were and their goals for their therapy in general. The word reconciliation kept ringing through June’s ears, and again she wavered if that was truly what she wanted. After everything they had been through, she was unsure if the resentment over her job could be fixed.
“Do you also want reconciliation?” the therapist asked.
That was the question of the century. Drawing her shoulders inward, June nodded hesitantly. There was no other answer to give. If she didn’t want reconciliation, then they wouldn’t be there to begin with.
“Is there anything else you want from these sessions?”
“Better communication,” June said. “I feel like we’re always running circles around each other.”
“Maybe that’s because you’re never home.”
June closed her eyes and took a deep breath in.
“Let’s start there. Lydia, why is it you feel June is never home?”
“Because she’s not. She’s always at work or out at the bar.”
“Excuse me?” June shot back. She was never at the bar. It was pretty much work or home because if she didn’t go home Lydia would throw a fit, much like she was doing now. “I do not go to the bar. I don’t,” June reiterated to the therapist. “I don’t know where she’s getting that from.”
“It’s true. You didn’t even come home last weekend. You were at work all night Friday night.”
June turned to Lydia sharply. “I was on call. On call. That means when I get paged, I have to go in to work. That means once the clock hits for a normal shift to end, I may have to stay late and take care of whatever is going on because I’m on call. That’s the very nature of working my job.”
“But you weren’t at the hospital.”
June’s eyes widened. She had no comeback for that, simply because Lydia was right. She wasn’t at the hospital—at least not the entire time. She did have to go back later that evening, but she’d left shortly after her regular shift was over.
“Let’s pause here a moment,” the therapist interjected. “I’m sensing there may be a lack of trust going on here.”
If June had been with it enough, she would have rolled her eyes.
“Well, it doesn’t help that she’s always lying to me,” Lydia added.
