Shameless expectations, p.19
Shameless Expectations, page 19
“Mmm…yes.” Athena was completely enraptured with Monti’s mouth, the way she moved, the soft and tender touches. She tried to focus on what she was saying, but it was so hard.
“So I’ve continued to avoid the real problem.” Monti kissed her shoulder.
Athena slid in closer, wanting desperately for Monti to continue right on up. Her body was warm, ready for the touches, for the caresses. “What’s the real problem?”
“I might not remember my parents, at least not very well. But my body remembers them. My body holds the arguments, the violence, the chaos that I was born into.” She kissed Athena’s neck, her lips so hot against Athena’s skin that it felt almost like she was burned.
Athena whimpered and tilted her head ever so slightly to give Monti more access. Because she wanted more. She wanted to feel everything that Monti was offering, not just the touches and the kisses, the pleasure. She craved that peace.
“If I want to find peace…” Monti kissed her chin. “Then I can’t avoid what happened any longer.”
“S-some conversation.” Athena swallowed hard, facing Monti. “Seems Fallon has a way with words like you do.”
“Big sisters are useful for some things, aren’t they?”
“Fallon is very useful.” Athena dropped her gaze to Monti’s mouth, from the gentle rise of her upper lip to the bottom curve of her lower one. Monti’s pink tongue peeked right at the edge of her mouth before disappearing again. Before she knew what she was doing, Athena leaned in and captured Monti’s mouth in a generous kiss.
Monti wrapped her fingers around Athena’s neck, pulling her in closer and deepening the embrace. This time they were on even footing. Athena leaned over the armrest, cursing the seatbelt that pushed against her hips and forced her to stay put. She nipped Monti’s lower lip and then slid her tongue across the slight injury to soothe it.
The sound of a throat clearing caused Athena to jerk back. But when she finally got the courage to look, no one was there, or at least whoever had interrupted them was back to doing whatever they were doing before. The two businessmen across the aisle from them didn’t seem to pay them a lick of attention. Athena shifted in her seat, her underwear damp and her skin flushed. She’d never wanted to take her jacket off more than she did at that moment.
“We’re both in prisons of our own making,” Monti finally said, settling back into her seat with Athena’s hand in hers again. “Your house is yours. The lack of a house is mine.”
“I suppose,” Athena murmured, her brain struggling to catch up.
“You don’t think you hide away in your house?”
“My house is safe,” Athena answered honestly.
“Sometimes it’s necessary to take risks.” Monti kissed Athena’s knuckles.
Would Monti start the same path back up to her neck again? Athena would love that. The kiss against her wrist brought back the memories from moments before. A flush washed through her, and Athena smiled.
“What risk are you taking?”
“Many.” Monti winked and kissed Athena’s forearm, over the cloth of her jacket again. So they were playing this game. The real question was whether or not Athena could wait for the inevitable or if she wanted to skip straight to the good parts. “Did you know that Monti isn’t my real name?”
“What?” Athena blinked hard, suddenly tossed straight back into reality.
“Fallon’s always called me that, ever since our parents died. Dad named me after his mother. No one wanted to be reminded of who we were related to. So they started calling me Monti after Mom. Her maiden name was Montgomery.” Monti kissed Athena’s shoulder and then her neck.
“So are you avoiding or are they avoiding for you?”
“Astute question, young grasshopper.” Monti’s tongue dashed across Athena’s neck, flicking against her skin.
Athena gasped, curling her fingers into Monti’s hand and tightening her grasp sharply. Moving in, Athena kissed her quickly before pulling back and remembering the clearing of the throat from before. She didn’t want to experience that again. “Monti…”
“Five hundred and one ways to say my name. What does that one mean?” Monti scraped her teeth across Athena’s skin.
Athena bit back the groan, closing her eyes as her underwear was nearly soaked through already. If Monti continued this, she’d have yet another orgasm without being touched. And fuck, she wanted Monti to touch her this time. There was no doubt in her mind about it now.
“It’s a warning,” Athena answered, meaning her tone to be sharp and commanding. Instead it came out breathy, and she barely held back a second groan.
“A warning or a siren’s call?”
“Damn it, Monti,” Athena muttered and kissed her quickly. “We still have to get to Florida.”
“I thought the vacation had already started.” Monti’s grin was outright cocky. “No one here knows who we are. Why are you so concerned about what they think?”
Why was she? All Athena had done her entire life was try to live up to the expectations that were placed on her. Since the moment she was born, people expected her to be someone, and she’d lived those prescribed roles with every breath she had.
But Monti had none.
No, that wasn’t true.
Monti expected her to be no one but herself. Free. Authentic. Pure. Honest. Staring into Monti’s eyes now, all she saw reflected back at her was curiosity and gentleness. Athena had gone to school, she’d gotten married, she’d had a child—everything she had done was to fulfill someone else’s expectations.
But what expectations did she have?
What did she want?
In that moment, she could only come up with one answer. Pulling Monti forward by the back of the neck, Athena kissed her hard. All doubt had left her. Their lips moved over each other, teasing and pleasuring. Athena hummed as her eyes fluttered closed, and then she pulled away.
She smiled, and she knew it was cocky.
Athena pecked Monti’s lips, her grin broadening.
Without a word, Athena undid the buckle on her belt and slid out of the seat. She couldn’t stop smiling. Why had it taken her so long to figure this out? Why had it taken twenty years of a self-made prison for her to understand that she didn’t have to live up to anyone else but herself. She grinned at Monti as she walked down the thin aisle of the airplane toward the bathroom.
This was it.
This was what she wanted.
twenty-three
What is that look for?
Monti curled her fingers around the armrest between their seats, holding on for what felt like dear life. She kept her gaze on Athena’s retreating form, the curve of her lips, the lines around her mouth, the pink in her cheeks. Athena paused a step, biting her lip as she raised her hands to her front and slid open the buttons on her jacket and then slid it off her shoulders.
She stepped back to the seat and plopped her jacket into the chair, her eyes completely alight in a way Monti had never seen before. Athena leaned over, holding still for one brief moment before smiling again.
“Almost forgot to take that off.”
Monti’s voice caught in her throat when Athena walked away again toward the back of the plane when the closest bathroom was in the front. Monti had no doubts what that look was all about now. Athena didn’t look back. She didn’t send Monti another hint as to what she was expecting. Monti stared across the aisle at the two gentlemen who had interrupted them before and winced.
She’d never done something like that. But Athena just seemed to take all those proprieties away, and Monti had to work to keep her hands off her. She blew out a breath and relaxed into her seat. Athena really wanted to do this here? Now? Of all fucking places to fuck…
Monti rubbed her thighs, her hands flat on her knees. Her entire body was cued up and ready to go, just like it had been the last time they’d almost…fucked. “Oh, damn it.”
Monti ran her fingers through her hair. She had held back for so long. Not on her feelings for Athena or the fact that she was interested, but she’d held herself back in life. What was she doing here other than running away again? Athena had offered her the perfect out. Escape to Florida for a bit and avoid the real problem even more.
Except this time Athena had come with her. And Monti had underestimated the fact that they had a commonality. Fallon. Cringing, Monti stood up and walked toward the back of the plane. First class seemed so far away from everything. The line of people was long, and she had missed which bathroom Athena had gone into.
Bouncing on her toes, with her hands shoved into her pockets, Monti waited. She kept her face turned toward the bathrooms, counting how many people went out of each one. It was the third person when she was sure that Athena had gone into the bathroom on the left. No one had gone in or gone out.
Two more people.
Just what was she going to find when she knocked on that door? Athena naked? Monti snorted at that idea. It was enough that she’d taken the jacket off in a plane full of strangers and then paraded her way from the front to the back. She’d never be naked.
Monti licked her lips. What would they do? It would be quick, dirty, and fuck, would Monti even get off? She flat out didn’t care. So long as she got to taste and touch Athena, see her come undone—what little was left to unravel.
One more person.
Monti tapped her toe against the floor. Why was she nervous all of a sudden? It wasn’t like she hadn’t known they were headed this direction. Athena had invited her on a trip, a vacation to the beach. They’d cuddled for hours in her bed. They’d kissed so many times already. They had a connection.
One that was undeniable.
Wetting her lips, Monti stood at the ready. What would she say when she first walked in there? Hey there, sexy. Waiting on someone? Monti’s heart raced. She was nervous. Of all things for her to be, nervous wasn’t it. But this was so different than with anyone else before. Monti had never shared so much with someone, opened up to them. And she hadn’t even realized she was doing it at first.
She’d let down her guard unexpectedly, meeting Athena right where she was. The person in front of her went into the bathroom on the right. Monti held her breath as she knocked rapidly on the door to the left.
“It’s me, Athena.”
Immediately the lock clicked, and the door slid open. Athena’s bright face greeted her for a brief second before Monti stepped inside and locked the door behind her. She didn’t even care if anyone had seen her. All she wanted was to get her hands on Athena, to touch and taste and smell and bask in the glorious woman in front of her.
But fuck, she forgot how small these damn bathrooms were.
Monti maneuvered around, pressing against Athena unexpectedly because there was literally nowhere else for her to go. And this was a bathroom. One that she had no doubt many other people had already used today.
“Hey,” Athena said, her voice light and high-pitched.
Was she just as nervous?
“Hey,” Monti answered. “The plane, really?”
Athena shrugged. “You’re the one who wouldn’t stop touching me.”
Monti laughed lightly. “Sometimes you’re irresistible. What can I say?” Leaning in, Monti kissed her softly. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Beyond sure.”
“Then how? Because there isn’t exactly a lot of room in here.”
“I don’t know.” Athena shook her head. “I’ve never had sex with a woman before.”
“Right.” Monti blew out a breath. “Well, first things first, since we’re definitely in a bathroom.” She took hold of Athena’s hips and flipped them so Monti was in between the sink and Athena. With one more kiss, she turned around and started washing her hands. The last thing she wanted was for someone to get sick.
Athena didn’t touch her. Instead she leaned against the wall, her shoulders stiff and her look guarded as she watched Monti dry her hands and toss the paper towels. Was the heat of the moment gone already?
“We don’t have to—”
“I want to, Monti.” Athena looked at her directly, and Monti saw no doubt in her gaze. “I’m tired of waiting. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Okay. I hear you.” Monti placed a hand on Athena’s hip and bent slightly to kiss her cheek. She moved slowly to kiss the other one. “As much as I’d love to take this slow, I don’t know how much time we’ll get.”
Athena shivered.
Monti kissed her lips, taking her time but not deepening the embrace. She pulled away slightly and slid two fingers along the edge of Athena’s shirt. “I love touching you like this.”
Athena sucked in a breath sharply, but her hands remained firmly at her sides. Monti fully slid her palm against Athena’s side under her shirt. It felt like possession, but also willing submission. Stepping in closer, Monti whispered into Athena’s ear.
“Wrap your arms around me.”
Athena did as she was told, tilting her head up to capture Monti’s lips. This was going to be an adventure, one that neither of them had ever experienced before. Monti deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue against Athena’s. This was comfortable for them. They’d done this before. Athena knew how to kiss. What she didn’t know was how to touch or move or trust her body.
Monti nipped Athena’s lip, and then pressed small kisses all along Athena’s jaw to her ear and sucked on her earlobe. Athena hummed, digging her nails into the small of Monti’s back. It sent a shiver through her, the desire that Athena showed even if she didn’t realize that was what she was doing in the moment.
“I love when you hold onto me,” Monti whispered, kissing her way down Athena’s neck. “Will you let me kiss your breasts?”
“Yes,” Athena answered, already moving her hands to her shirt to pull it up.
Monti reached behind Athena’s back and flicked the clasp of her bra, swiftly loosening it. Monti didn’t care if Athena got her clothes off or not. She pulled the shirt up and the bra down and pressed her closed lips right against Athena’s skin. She smelled heavenly. Athena’s skin was so warm and inviting. Monti kissed her again, taking as much time as she dared to make sure that Athena got exactly what she wanted.
Athena clutched at Monti’s back again before she dragged her hand up into Monti’s hair and pulled Monti against her. Smiling, Monti parted her lips and covered Athena’s nipple. She flicked her tongue against the hard little nub and grinned when Athena let out a small grunt. She’d noticed that her breasts were sensitive before, and she was finally getting more of them. Not everything she wanted, but enough to keep both of them satisfied until they landed in Florida.
The sharp tug against Monti’s scalp was enough to make her back up. But Athena pushed her right back down onto the other breast. Monti had pegged her right from the start. Athena might not know what she was doing, but she knew exactly what she wanted, and she wasn’t willing to give up that control.
Using the flat of her tongue, Monti licked Athena’s breast before sucking her nipple and scraping her teeth as light as possible against the underside of her boob. Athena whined, holding Monti’s head to her.
“If you keep that up, I’m going to come again without you touching me,” Athena whispered, her voice disappearing in the noise from the plane.
Monti repeated the tease. If she could keep Athena on her toes, not knowing what was going to happen next, then she could figure out exactly how they were going to do this. Athena let go of Monti’s head and moved her hands to the front of her pants, pulling the belt and the button. Monti covered her hands to stop her.
“I want to make sure that you want this.”
“If I didn’t want this, we wouldn’t be here.” Athena clasped Monti’s hand, lacing their fingers. Her cheeks were red with arousal, her eyes glassed over. “If you don’t touch me, then I’m going to touch myself.”
Monti’s lips curled upward. “Aye aye, captain.”
“Touch me.”
Putting her hands on Athena’s hips, Monti pushed her pants down. On instinct, Athena spread her legs. The scent of her arousal was unmistakable, and Monti’s knees nearly buckled as it hit her full force. “God, you’re sexy.”
“Touch me, Monti.”
Monti slid her palm against Athena’s thigh, easing her way from Athena’s leg around the side to right between them. Athena’s curls were long, wild, and so fucking wet. Monti pressed her mouth hard against Athena’s, the kiss out of control. She breathed deeply, her eyes closed as she did everything by feel and let herself get lost just a little bit in this amazing woman who was so willingly opening for her.
Athena jerked slightly, and Monti halted all forward motion. She slowed her kisses, pulling Athena’s lip between her teeth as she kept her hand as still as possible. “You okay?”
“Fine,” Athena said, her voice tight.
“We don’t allow fine as an answer.”
“I’m impatient.” Athena dropped her hips down, pushing Monti’s hand more firmly against her.
Monti laughed. “If that’s all it is.”
“That’s it.”
“Then will you let me touch you?”
“I told you to already.”
“Testy, are we?” Monti kissed Athena’s neck. “Can I put my fingers in you?”
“That’s probably the least sexy way to say that. Couldn’t think of anything else with your word magic?” Athena dropped her hips again, as if she was trying to grind against Monti’s open palm. And maybe she was. Maybe that was her solution to the fact that Monti was insisting on directions.
“Sometimes clarity isn’t sexy. And it was a nicer way of asking if you don’t mind penetration.” Monti moved up, looking into Athena’s eyes. She couldn’t tell just from her voice if this was an avoidance tactic or simply Athena’s odd way of flirting. Monti waited as Athena’s eyes cleared and her mouth opened.
