Shameless expectations, p.21
Shameless Expectations, page 21
Grinning from ear to ear, Athena snagged a throw blanket off the end of the bed and laid it gently over Monti’s sleeping form. They had two full weeks together. They’d find the time to figure out what they were doing. Bending down, Athena brushed a kiss into Monti’s hair before heading back to her bedroom.
twenty-five
Monti woke with a start, her entire body jerking as she sat straight up in bed. Her heart was in her throat when she looked around the unfamiliar room as her eyes cleared. For a moment she’d thought she was at home.
No. Not home.
Sucking in a sharp breath, Monti tried to remember exactly where she’d thought she was, but now that she was awake, she couldn’t bring the dream to her memory. It was as if she was grasping at smoke, trying to catch it between her fingers as it slipped away and became impossible to see anymore.
Monti plucked the thin blanket off her legs and stood up. She was in Florida with Athena. And she must have fallen asleep before Athena had gotten out of the shower because she couldn’t remember her coming back into Monti’s bedroom. And the door was shut. And the blanket.
She’d never fallen asleep quite like that before, not unless she was under the stars. Sighing, Monti wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her hands up and down. Why was she still chilled?
Taking a quick shower, Monti unpacked her bag and headed to the kitchen. She wanted coffee. Maybe that would warm up her bones like the shower had failed to do. She made a pot of coffee and stared out the window as the sun rose and lit up the sky. If the house faced the other direction, she would have been able to see it. But this way, all she got to witness was the way the light painted the sky and the clouds, creating a masterpiece of its own body.
Monti stayed put, mesmerized by the beauty that was so natural to the world. It was peaceful here. Wait. What was that thought? Monti pursed her lips and took another sip of coffee, letting the caffeine rip through her and wake her up even more.
It was peaceful here.
She breathed in that blessed feeling, allowing it to settle into her chest. That had been what she was searching for. But why was she finding it here of all places? Was it because this was somewhere new? Or was this just the newness tricking her into thinking that it was peace?
“Morning,” Athena singsonged as she stepped into the kitchen.
“Morning.” Monti smiled as Athena leaned in and kissed her cheek.
“You were asleep when I went to find you last night.” Athena brushed her fingers along Monti’s hand as she reached for a mug, intentionally teasing.
Athena had become a whole new person overnight it seemed. Monti glanced at the clock on the stove, surprised to find that hours had passed since she’d come downstairs. She’d always been one to lose herself and forget about time, but this seemed different.
“Do you need a refill?”
“Uh. Sure.” Monti handed her cup over and waited as Athena filled it. “Just milk.”
Once she had her second cup between her fingers, Monti leaned against the counter and looked out the patio doors again. “You missed a beautiful sunrise.”
Athena hummed. “Did I? I guess I was worn out from all the…travel.”
“I’m sure it was the travel.” Monti picked up on the flirting instantly and played right into it.
They finished their coffee, setting the mugs in the sink before walking out onto the deck. It was already warm outside, and the breeze was gentle as it caressed Monti’s skin. She was impressed to find that Athena wasn’t wearing her normal buttoned-up outfits, but a loose-fitting shirt that showed off her arms. More than that, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, giving her face a much younger look.
“Was there anything you wanted to see while you were here?” Athena asked.
Monti took her hand, lacing their fingers together. When Athena stopped on the deck, Monti continued forward, taking Athena with her. If they were going to be here, then Monti didn’t want to be cooped up in the house all day. She stopped at the bottom of the deck and toed off her shoes. The sand was cold against her feet, but it was a glorious contrast to the warm sun that was hitting her skin.
“Take your shoes off,” Monti said, her voice so soft. She wasn’t sure that Athena would agree or not, but it would be interesting to see if she did. Athena would probably think this was childish, but Monti loved the beach. She loved the woods. She loved any type of nature that she could find, including the world made by the hands of humans.
“What are we doing?” Athena asked, holding Monti still.
“Exploring.” Monti knew that single word was a statement.
“What are we exploring?” Athena canted her head to the side in the most adorable look of confusion.
Leaning in, because she couldn’t resist, Monti kissed Athena’s nose and grinned. “Everything.”
This time, Monti didn’t wait. She dropped Athena’s hand and walked away. She headed straight for the surf, and when the sand was wet against her toes, she sighed with relief. She needed the comfort of it, the contrast of the cold to the warmth of the day. Yet she still felt cold inside, like something wasn’t quite sitting right within her.
Turning back around, Monti was surprised to find that Athena had followed her into the surf, her feet bare and her pants rolled up to her knees. The flash of skin was absolutely enticing, and if Monti had her way, they’d pick up right where they left off the night before. Neither one of them would likely regret it, and they’d both be satisfied.
“The water’s warm today.”
“The gulf usually is, especially when the water’s coming in from the east instead of the south,” Athena answered.
“Don’t take the fun out of it.” Monti laughed, her voice carried in the breeze as she went farther into the water, the waves brushing against her pants and wetting them. She was going to have to change, but she didn’t care. She was more fascinated by the fact that Athena was actually doing this, willingly.
She was standing in the middle of the ocean, her hands on her hips, with only a slight scowl on her face. The intrusive thought came to her without a moment’s hesitation. Monti shook her head once before giving in. Bending down, she flapped her fingers into the water, bringing it up to splash against Athena.
“Monti!” Athena screeched, but her lips were curled upward.
“Yes?” Monti straightened her shoulders, playing off the role that she’d been caught red-handed. But she’d intended it, completely. She wanted to see if Athena would play into this lighthearted game that she’d set up.
When Athena didn’t say anything else or scold her again, Monti bent down and scooped up even more water, splashing it at Athena.
“Monti!” Athena shouted again with a laugh.
Giggling, Monti bent down just as Athena did. Water flew between them, catching their clothes, their skin, their hair. Monti eventually stepped forward, grabbing Athena by the waist and spinning her as the waves hit against their thighs. They kissed.
Athena moved in, deepening the embrace. Her fingers cupped Monti’s cheeks and pulled her in closer. Monti wrapped her arms around Athena’s back, tilting her slightly to change the angle of the kiss. Athena gasped.
“Are we going to spend all day frolicking in the water?”
“Only if you want to,” Monti answered, kissing her again. “But I suppose we have to eat at some point.”
“And have tea.”
“And read books as we bask in the sun,” Monti murmured against Athena’s neck. “I know you despise electronic books, so did you bring a suitcase filled with paperbacks?”
“What makes you think I don’t have my own mini-library here?”
Monti laughed wholeheartedly. She should have guessed. She should have figured that Athena would have prepared for that, especially since this was—according to her—her second most favorite place on earth. Monti tugged her in for another long kiss.
“When’s the last time you played in the ocean?”
Athena shook her head, biting her lip. “When I was sixteen or seventeen?”
Monti spun her around, holding her as they stared out into the vast expanse of the ocean in front of them. They rocked side to side as the waves lapped against their thighs. “If you could go anywhere, where would you go?”
“I’m loving where I am,” Athena answered. “Really. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”
Something tightened in Monti’s chest, something that she couldn’t quite name. But it hurt. She knew Athena had meant for those words to be kind and comforting. Athena was being honest. They were enjoying each other’s company so why would Athena want to be anywhere else. And yet, it pained Monti to think about that.
If Athena clung to her presence too much, holding on to her as if she was the solid rock Athena could stand on now instead of her own two feet, then Monti would be exactly where she didn’t want to be. Hurting someone when she did finally leave. Because she would go. The world called to her, that quest for peace.
Monti paused.
She sucked in a deep breath, pressing her chin against Athena’s shoulder as she held her tightly in a hug. Athena was choosing to be here, and here was where she was finding comfort and peace. Perhaps there was something to that. Perhaps Monti was missing the biggest point of Athena’s statement.
Clenching her jaw, Monti kissed Athena’s neck. “Let’s go in and dry off.”
“You get me all the way out here and now you want to go in?” Athena raised an eyebrow at her, questioning Monti.
“What do you suggest?”
“In a low tide, we can walk pretty far out.”
“It’s not a low tide, Athena.” Monti kissed her cheek. “But where do you want to walk to?”
“Anywhere so long as I’m with you.”
There was honesty there, but something underlying it—or perhaps underlying only Monti’s hearing of it—turned it against truth and into something akin to fake. She wished she could point her finger at exactly what was wrong. But Athena seemed so happy and relaxed. This was what they’d worked at for months now, and if she had to stay in this moment, if she had to ignore her instincts because Athena had finally found her peace, then Monti would do that.
It was her job after all, wasn’t it?
Help her clients find what they were looking for, work through their problems, make headway and steps forward—that was what she was paid to do. And that was exactly what she’d agreed to when she had taken the job with Athena. Tracking her hands down Athena’s arms, Monti laced their fingers.
“Come on. Let’s go inside.”
She helped Athena walk through the surf and back to the house. Instead of going inside, however, Athena stopped them on the deck by sitting in the lounge chairs that were there. It was close enough. Monti sat next to her, lifting Athena’s feet into her lap and massaging them. Athena moaned, tossing her head back into the chair and rolling her shoulders as her eyes fluttered shut.
“This is perfect,” Athena murmured.
Monti smiled. “Perfect isn’t real.”
“Sure it is.” Athena looked Monti directly in the eye. “Perfection is whatever we make it. If I want this to be perfect, then it’s perfect.”
“Do you try that in the courtroom?”
Athena snorted, then she giggled, no doubt in response to her unintentional reaction. “No.”
“You should.” Monti got hold of Athena’s hand and brought her fingers up to kiss her knuckles again. “I bet the judges would eat that up.”
“Oh my God.”
“What?” Monti winked. “I think it’d be sexy to see you argue in court.”
Athena laughed, the sound low in her throat. “Well, you’re welcome to come to my next open trial if you want to. Until then, you’ll have to make do with your imagination.”
“Then I’ll let my imagination go wild.” Another wink and Monti settled into the day. This was something she could handle. That feeling from before? Like everything was going to shatter around her? That she needed to run full force from, all the way back to Seattle. She just had fourteen days to survive and then she could.
twenty-six
Athena had watched the beach fastidiously since Monti had left for a run over an hour ago. The sun had set on their first day there, and Athena couldn’t be happier. She couldn’t be more satisfied. Her entire life up until that point had been filled with the tension of keeping everything hidden and under wraps, but with Monti, she had none of that.
The door snicked open, and Monti stepped inside. Her cheeks were flushed from the exercise, her hair no longer slicked back in the ponytail she’d left with. Flyaway hairs sprung out by her ears and temples, and she tried in vain to put them back before giving up and grinning at Athena.
“Good run?” Athena asked. Her stomach clenched at the sight of Monti, the curve of her lips, the way her body swayed as she walked closer.
“Best in weeks.” Monti walked straight to her, cupping her cheek and pulling her in for a deep kiss.
Athena gasped. She fell into the embrace, allowing herself to be swept away in it. She wrapped her hands around Monti’s back, her skin slick with sweat and small granules of sand that were rough against her skin. Humming, Athena parted her lips and slid her tongue against Monti’s. She’d been wanting this all day.
They’d been so close all day, talking, laughing, enjoying each other’s company. But this time, Monti didn’t pull back in a rush. Instead, she got on her knees, parting Athena’s so she could be nestled right between them. Athena moved in, trailing her fingers up and down Monti’s shoulders and back. She didn’t want to let go.
Something about this moment was so pure. Athena pulled the tight elastic holding Monti’s hair up. Her sweat-dampened hair fell around her shoulders, and immediately, Athena tangled her fingers in it. Monti was so real. She was someone who was built of hopes and dreams instead of nightmares and fears.
Sucking Monti’s lower lip into her mouth, Athena moaned. She wanted all of Monti tonight. She wanted their bodies entangled and full of pleasure. She wanted Monti inside her, against her. Athena dove in to deepen the kiss, trying to work her way through exactly how to ask that, how to tell Monti that she was wanted.
“Why don’t…” Monti said, her lips against Athena’s as she smiled “…I go upstairs and take a shower, clean up a bit, and you can choose if you want to join me or wait until I’m done.”
“That’s a tough decision.”
“But it’s all yours.” Monti kissed again, dragging in a sharp breath and groaning as she pulled away. “If I don’t leave now, I’m not leaving.”
“I’m not opposed to that.”
Monti laughed, but she moved to stand up. “I’m a sweaty mess.”
“Pretty sure that comes with the territory.” Athena stayed exactly where she was, feet flat against the floor, knees spread. She gave Monti a teasing look, dragging her gaze down Monti’s tight body and then back up, slowly and deliberately. She wanted this to be just as hard for Monti as it was for her. She wanted there to be tension between them.
Anticipation.
“Oh, I have no doubt you know what you’re doing.” Monti took a step backward, narrowly missing the side table that held Athena’s tea and the book she’d been pretending to read while she waited for Monti to come back. “I can’t wait to see what you decide.”
Monti disappeared upstairs.
Athena clutched the sides of the lounger she was in, holding her breath as she waited. But what the hell was she waiting for? Monti had literally told her this was her decision, and she’d been thinking about it all day. She wanted to have sex. And she wanted to have sex with Monti right now.
Standing up, Athena didn’t even bother to clean up. She walked immediately up the stairs to Monti’s bedroom. She shut and locked the door behind her before stripping her shirt off and then her pants. The water was already running in the shower, the sound calling to Athena.
When she opened the door, Monti smiled from the open glass door to the shower and stepped inside. Athena’s heart jumped. Monti was stunning. It hadn’t even occurred to her that she hadn’t seen Monti naked yet. That in every encounter they’d had, Monti had remained fully clothed.
Athena’s heart ran rampant. Her body begged her to move and do something, but she stood still in the doorway, stunned speechless. Monti was young, her muscles taut, her skin tight and smooth. She didn’t have scars or weird dimples on her ass or legs or stretch marks on her breasts from pregnancy. She was perfection wrapped up in long legs and stunning curves.
“Shall I start without you?” Monti called through the door. “Because I don’t mind.”
Snapping to attention, Athena unhooked her bra and slid her underwear to the tile floor. Her voice was caught in her throat, and she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to speak. She shook as she reached for the shower door and popped it open. Steam filled the small shower, but through it, she found Monti with her shoulders against the wall, and fingers firmly planted between her legs.
“We can always start with some mutual masturbation if you’d like.”
“No,” Athena said, though she wasn’t sure she was loud enough for Monti to hear her. Placing one foot into the shower, she stepped inside, her decision firmly made. One more step and they were plastered together.
Skin to skin.
Breasts to breasts.
Mouth to mouth.
Athena ran her palms over Monti’s front, over her breasts, her hard nipples, to her hips and her thighs. She was doing this. And she wasn’t going to be scared or worried about anything. Because she trusted Monti. She trusted that what they had together so far was true and real. Athena followed Monti’s hand down between her legs, matching Monti’s fingers with her own.
